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IELTS Graph: Contribution of selected sectors to the UK economy in the 20th century



namleung 1 / -  
Mar 27, 2011   #1
The graph shows changes in the percentage of the UK economy over the 20th century with 3 sectors: agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services.
At the beginning of the 20th century, we can see that agriculture and manufacturing played as a key role in the UK economy with just below 50% and 45%, respectively. Business and financial services only contributed a small proportion to the UK economy with 4% in 1900.

After the first half of century, agriculture continued to contributed the largest propotion with a sligh increase to 52%. But in the following five decades, this figure declined rapidly ending the year to approximately 2%.

The contribution of manufacturing were down over a century, falling significantly from 45% to just nearly 15% in 2000.
By contrast, the role played by business and financial services in the UK economy became increasingly important over the whole century. It was no more than 4% at the beginning of the 20th century and ended at almost 35% in 2000.

To sum up, the ranking of contribution of 3 sectors after 100 years reversed. Business and financial reported the highest percentage of contribution. This was followed by manufacturing and agriculture


Pls check my IELTS Writing graph. Thank you so much!


  • graph


kelp0308 4 / 15  
Mar 28, 2011   #2
Hi
"While business and financial services only contributed a small proportion maybe better".
and "UK economy " is used repeatedly more than 3 times. I advise using a word to replace it. maybe financial condition .
The word 'silgh ' should be an error.

That's all i can think of now, a good work though!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Mar 29, 2011   #3
This is a very difficult kind of essay to write!
I'll offer some ideas:
The graph shows changes in the percentages of the UK economy accounted for over the 20th century by three sectors: agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services.

At the beginning of the 20th century, we can see that agriculture and manufacturing played as a key roles in the UK economy with just ...

Use "roles" because there are more than one:
By contrast, the roles played by business and financial services in ...

You did a very good job with this difficult task.


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