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The graph below presents the number of people who graduated from university rate



yeutuanhvailon 1 / 1  
Dec 2, 2020   #1

university graduates, canada



The line graph demonstrates the number of people who graduated from univerisity rate between 1992 and 2007

Overall, both two genders have tendency to rise in over 14 years counted from 1992.However, females remains the largest number of university graduates.

As is shown by the illustration, in 1992 , the quantity of females who had a university degree was at 100,000, which is larger than that of males which was at 70,000. In the next three years, both two genders rised with an increase of approximately 5,000. The year of 1998 recorded a decrease in number of people who graduated from university. Within a time span of 5 years , the figure for males and females didn't cease to go up. The figure for females reached its zenith at about 150,000 ,which is higher than that for males which reached its peak at merely 100,000 in the same period.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Dec 2, 2020   #2
There is insufficient writing in this data report for it to be considered a full 3 paragraph presentation. While writing 153 words met the minimum word requirement, a full 175-190 words would have helped you better meet the paragraph requirement. In this case, you have an incomplete overview, a stand alone trending statement, and a full paragraph. These are not acceptable as a properly formatted essay based on task 1 requirements.

The summary overview should have contained the reference number count for the students (in the hundreds of thousands), the two genders ( male and female) as the information from the graph about that is specific and required in this age of multiple genders. The next 2 paragraphs should have comprised a data analysis of the male graduates. Then a third paragraph reviewing the female graduates. So the format should have been:

Par. 1: Summary overview
Par. 2: Male analysis
Par. 3: Female analysis

There are LR issues as you are not properly using the past tense of certain words (rised = rose) and misspelled words (unvesrity = university) You should be more conscious of your grammar usage and LR presentation. These appear to the most problematic of all your writing skills at the moment.
OP yeutuanhvailon 1 / 1  
Dec 2, 2020   #3
@Holt
thanks for your comment. I will try to be better at the next writing then


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