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IELTS|The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.



vantev 1 / -  
Sep 21, 2024   #1
The line graph illustrates how the change in prices of three metals namely copper, nickel and zinc varied every month in 2014.
Overall, the price of nickel and copper decreased while zinc witnessed an upward trend in its rates over the given period. Notably, the prices of three metals similarly remained unchanged from July to September.
Looking first at the nickel, there was a decrease in its prices throughout the timeframe. At the beginning of the period, nickel registered by far the highest percentage of change in price, at 6%. Afterwards, this figure declined rapidly to 1% in March and then remained unchanged before hitting a low of -3% in June. Moreover, the change in price of nickel suddenly rose to -1% and stabilised there over a course of three months, commencing from July. From September to October, this figure slightly fell to -2% before recovering to 1% in November and experienced a stability at the end of the period.
Despite sharp fluctuations, the change in the price of zinc increased over the given period. Initially, nickel had the lowest percentage of change in prices, at 1%. In the next month, this figure achieved its highest point of 3%, followed by a decline by 4% from this month to June and a fluctuation between -1% and -0.5% in the next four months. Thereafter, the price of zinc significantly grew from -1% to 2% from October to December and zinc ended up being the only metal that witnessed an upward trend in its rate at the end of the period. In terms of copper, its change in prices mostly fluctuated. The proportion of change in the price of copper gradually went down from 2% to -0.5% in the first half of the year 2014, then it rose to 1% in July and stabilised there for 3 months, followed by a decline by 0.5% in October and a recover to 1.5% in December.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Sep 22, 2024   #2
You have written a presentation of 321 words. This is not an information presentation that properly represents the task 1 essay. The analytical essay has a 20 minute writing limit, meaning you cannot write more than 200 words for this section of the IELTS test. By writing 321 words, you will use a major part of the task 2 writing time as well, which means you will fail both the task 1 and task 2 essay requirements.

Formatting is also a problem for this exercise that you wrote. You did not follow the 4 paragraph writing format. Had you followed the proper formatting and spacing for the presentation, you would have seen that you went overboard with this failing piece of writing. I cannot even assess your work at this point because this essay would receive an automatic failing mark during the actual test.

Please come back for an assessment when you have written a proper 4 paragraph, 200 word essay. I will be more than happy to give you improvements pointers then.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS|The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
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