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[writing task 1] The graph below shows the polulation of Chile by age group between 1975 and 2035.



hlinh1555 1 / -  
Aug 8, 2021   #1

chile's population my age group



The provided line graph presents the data about the Chilean population according to three separate age groups namely 0-14 years, 15-64 years, 65 years and over over a 60-year period from 1975 to 2035.

Overall, it is clear to see that there were some fluctuations in the proportion of 15-64 years age group in the period shown; however, the figure of this age group accounted for the highest in comparison to the two different ones. There was a downward trend in the number of population in Chile who is from 0 to 14 years old, meanwhile a gradual growth was witnessed in the rate of 65 years age group, which presented the lowest percentage in Chilean population.

In 1975, the rate of people between 15 and 64 years old in Chile kept the highest rank at roughly 51% and was greater than that of two remaining age groups combined, followed by the 0-14 years age group, which made up around 40% in 1975. Whereas, the figure for the population more than 65 years old was the lowest at only approximately 5% in 1975, being one-tenths compared to that of the 15-64 years age group in the same timeline. In the next 40 years, the percentage of people from 0 to 14 years old in Chile surged remarkably and reached the highest point of 70% in 2015. A similar trend was seen in the rate of 65 years and over age group, going up gradually and hit 10% over 40 years. On the other hand, there was a significant decline in the number of people under 14 years old in Chile to nearly 20% in 2015, which made up half of its own figure in the first year of the period.

From 2015 to 2035, it is predictable that the proportion of 15-54 years age group will experience a slight fall to roughly 60% by 2025. The figure for Chilean population under 14 years old will be in a similar fashion, continuing to fall into the foreseeable future at approximately 8% in 2035. During that 20-year period, the rate of Chilean over 65 years old is expected to rise slightly to around 15% until the last year of the period studied.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15466  
Aug 9, 2021   #2
The writer will recieve a preliminary failing GRA score for the summary overview. It is confusing and represents a true - blue run-on sentence. This presentation should be composed of at least 3 individual sentence presentations. This current type of presentation is definitely a score-down right at the very start of the scoring process.

Essays of these sort must be brief and concise to fit in the 20 minute time provision. The writer did not meet that requirement. He has over- written the essay for no reason. Leaving him open to more score deductions due to his failure to double check his work for clarity, conciseness, and other scoring needs. Case in point, he makes a trending point / reference twice, in different paragraphs.That is only done once.


Home / Writing Feedback / [writing task 1] The graph below shows the polulation of Chile by age group between 1975 and 2035.
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