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WRITING TASK 1: THE GRAPH; three different categories in the Britain economy


Kalyn17992 9 / 19 1  
Sep 17, 2013   #1
The chart describes the percentage of three different categories in the Britain economy during the hundred-year period from 1900 to 2000.
As can be seen clearly, the most striking feature of the chart is that there was a dramatic increase in business and financial through the period, rising from 4 percent in 1900 to just under 10 percent in 1950. However, in 2000, the figure for this sector was by far the highest at 35 percent.

The number of agriculture showed a considerable fluctuation. The percentage was just under 50% by 1900, but after reaching a peak of about 52%, the category suddenly fell to almost zero by 2000.

There was a significant decrease in manufacturing from about 45 percent to 15 percent. This decline was particularly noticeable between 1975 and 2000, during which time the contribution of manufacturing just over doubled.

To sum up, although business and financial was popular in 2000, the gap between the three types narrowed considerably over a 100-year period.




MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Sep 17, 2013   #2
the hundred-year period

a period of 100 years

describes

"illustrates" sounds better.

the Britain economy

UK economy

However, in 2000, the figure for this sector was by far the highest at 35 percent.

"However" is the wrong word here.

As can be seen clearly, the most striking feature of the chart is that there was a dramatic increase in business and financial through the period, rising from 4 percent in 1900 to just under 10 percent in 1950. However, in 2000, the figure for this sector was by far the highest at 35 percent.

I don't think a rise of 6 percent is dramatic. You could write another way: As can be seen clearly, the most.... rising from 4 percent to around 35 percent in 2000.

The number of agriculture

The proportion of

during which time the contribution of manufacturing just over doubled.

I don't understand what you mean here.

was popular

were the main contributors of UK economy
OP Kalyn17992 9 / 19 1  
Sep 18, 2013   #3
There was a significant decrease in manufacturing from about 45 percent to 15 percent. This decline was particularly noticeable between 1975 and 2000, during which time the contribution of manufacturing just over doubled.

i mean between 1975 and 2000 the contributor of manufacturing had a double proportion.
maybe i did not show it correctly therefore you didn't understand
could you correct that sentence more perfectly?
thank you so much :))
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Sep 18, 2013   #4
"Double" is the wrong word. You could say: The contribution of manufacturing decreased by half or The contribution of manufacturing experienced a reduction of 50%
OP Kalyn17992 9 / 19 1  
Sep 18, 2013   #5
yeah.thank you so much:)
trangkhanhle 2 / 5  
Sep 18, 2013   #6
business and financial

--business and finance
you can replace '

suddenly fell

by 'plummeted'


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