Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


(IELTS) What's the greatest invention in the modern world?



ekekek 25 / 50  
Jul 20, 2011   #1
Motorised flight is the greatest invention in the modern world. No other invention has influenced our lives more significantly. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Motorised fight, indeed, is an essential invention in recent society. But when people add it a precise title-the greatest invention-in order to emphasis its importance. I wonder that a large majority of opponents will put on a question mark at the end of the title like me.

Time-saving must be an obvious advantage, popping into people's mind. As the accelerated development of the modern world, that time is money has been viewed as one of the golden principles. When the disaster, such as earthquake, takes place, rescuers from home and abroad come to the first site within an hour. Without motorised flight, more lives will pass away when the rescuers struggle in the way. Therefore, it is reasonable for us to admit the importance of motorised flight in the modern world.

On the other hand, we can illustrate lots of inventions that have significantly influenced our lives. Computer should be in the list. We can stay at home and grasp the changeable information in every minute because of Internet. In addition, distance education provides a whole new way of study, breaking the geographical constraint for all kinds of citizens. This change is huge compared with the previous time when a piece of envelop will take up to two weeks to deliver.

To conclude, computer is just an example. So many inventions can be named as the crucial inventions in the modern world as they dramatically change our lives in every minute in terms of study, work and urgent events. It is hard to judge which one is the greatest although there are different degrees among them. But each of them will make difference in various situations. Thus I take the view that it is meaningless to compare the importance of inventions as no one is more superior than the other.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Jul 20, 2011   #2
Motorised flight , indeed, is an essential invention in recent society.

But when people add to it a precise title-the greatest invention-in order to emphasis its importance, I wonder that a large majority of opponents will put on a question mark at the end of the title like me.

Time-saving must be an obvious advantage, ---no comma here--- popping into people's minds .

With the accelerated development of the modern world, the saying that time is money has been viewed as one of the golden principles.

When a disaster, such as an earthquake, takes place, rescuers from home and abroad come to the first site within an hour.

Without motorised flight, more lives would be lost when the rescuers struggle to reach them .

Computers should be on the list.

This change is huge compared with the previous time when a piece of mail will take up to two weeks to deliver.

If you add that computers are also important, it seems to take away from your saying that you agree that motorized flight is the most important. You could say that you agree to some extent, but that computers are just as important?

:)
OP ekekek 25 / 50  
Jul 21, 2011   #3
My opinion is motorized flight is important as well as computer, but neither of them is more important than the other, because each of them plays its role in different situation, so nothing could be called " the most imporant". Am I illustrating unclearly in the essay? Or have some logical problems? Thanks~~
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Jul 22, 2011   #4
Well, I have read that on the ietls or the toefl it is best to take a stand about the question -- yes or no.

You should say "no" and explain that the Internet has had more of an impact. It certainly has had more of an impact than flight, I think!!

:-)

Your first paragraph is too short. Take a stand and commit to that "no" argument right at the end of that first paragraph. If you add one good sentence to the end of that first paragraph, you will be making the essay twice as strong as it is now.


Home / Writing Feedback / (IELTS) What's the greatest invention in the modern world?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳