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WRITING TASK 2: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative



pttrang 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2022   #1

alternative healing methods are becoming more popular today



Today, there are many people who have problems with their health tend to use medicines and treatments without going to hospital. In my opinion, this trend is a negative development that people should not follow.

There are many reasons that people should visit their doctor and limit use of unknown drugs and treatment. Firstly, people may use the wrong medicines and treatment. In the modern and technological society, people can easily look up information on the Internet and there is so much information that they can control and understand. Therefore, they may choose wrong drugs and treatments that can not only have a negative impact on their health but also make the disease worse.

Secondly, many people can easily be taken advantage of and defrauded. There are a lot of scammers who sell poor quality, ineffective and non-healing drugs. It is easy for patients to trust the advertisements of these people and buy drugs of unknown origin leading to adverse health effects. Moreover, people who lack knowledge and information can use drugs and treatment with wrong dosage and method. For example, using more than the prescribed dose will lead to side effects of the drug, reduce the effectiveness of the drug and adversely affect health.

In conclusion, many sick people choose to use drugs and medicines and do not visit their doctor. Personally, I think this is a negative issue that has a bad effect on patient's health because they may use wrong medicines and treatment, be tricked into buying poor quality drugs and use drugs with wrong dosage.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15411  
Aug 22, 2022   #2
[quote=pttrang]there are[/quote]
Use a direct statement in this portion. There is no need for this referencing phrase since the total statement develops a clearer discussion reference when this phrase is removed from the sentence.

The writer's opinion was off to a good start. It clearly indicated his opinion as being opposed to the given statement. All that was missing were the 2 summarized reasoning topics to help add strength and logic to the opinion. By a dding the 2 reasons, the summarized discussion presentation will have been met and given additional points by the examiner.

There are many reasons that people should visit their doctor and limit use of unknown drugs and treatment

This could have been used as the thesis statement in the opinion presentation. It is unnecessary to present this additional opinion in the reasoning paragraph.

Points will be deducted from the concluding summary because the writer went from an opinion of certainty to an uncertain opinion by adding the word "think" to the sentence. As such he has contradicted his previous presentation and created a less than accurate opinion discussion. Avoid all words of uncertainty and contradiction that will affect the final opinion presentation.


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