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Growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries - it has its detractors



Vns9x 102 / 230  
Feb 21, 2015   #1
Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors.

I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.
You should write at least 250 words.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Education has always been the way for parents and other people to ensure themselves that their kids will be provided numerous knowledge. Having said that, studying abroad also helps children be mature swifter. Even though it has some disadvantage, such as having a nostalgia feeling. The cons can never exceed the advantages. Therefore, I am personally convinced that studying abroad's cons are no way near its benefits.

The vast majority of people now have a tendency to send their children abroad since most of their countries cannot satisfy their demands regarding the education. This phenomena force their child to be exposed to the real world, which should expedite the maturity process of their children. The knowledge that is imparted by a specific country, in which the child moves to is abundant. It is reasonable because their parents usually vigilantly choose the country, of which contains lots of knowledge before sending their children to a certain location. Envision yourself, being a kid who has the opportunity to study in England. Obviously, your English will be enhanced once you live there as well as your maturity due to living alone and encountering a tremendous amount of people. As a result, the benefits of studying abroad are enormous.

Along with the advantages, the only disadvantage is the loneliness. You might not be able to make friends in a certain country, loneliness would overwhelm you. It does not always apply to every single human being because not everybody suffers from the same issue. However, there are some individuals who possess a strong bond with their families and thus, fail to survive in a foreign country. For instance, I have an elder sister who has been residing in Australia for 5 years. She used to keep in touch with our family because no one understood her personality there. It was a huge obstacle for her to concentrate on studies. She eventually overcame it, but it was quite a process and not everybody might end up that well. Briefly, missing home is the only disadvantage of studying abroad.

The aforesaid evidence insinuates the number of benefits people receive when they study abroad exterminate its insignificant setback. Taking all the points intro account, I tally with the community, in which people believe in studying abroad and its lucrativeness.

EF_Alyssa - / 7  
Feb 21, 2015   #2
Really good essay! You do a good job of drawing on your experience (especially with the example of your sister), and talking about the pros and cons. My recommendations are mostly minor grammar tweaks.

to ensure themselves

I think you might mean "assure" (as in, to convince themselves)

Even though it has some disadvantage, such as having a nostalgia feeling. The cons can never exceed the advantages

Try to combine these two sentences, to avoid fragmented sentences. (You might replace the period with a comma.)

phenomena force

To correct the subject-verb agreement, change to "forces" (phenomena = plural, so "forces").

the knowledge that is imparted by a specific country, in which the child moves to is abundant.

This sentence is a little confusing right now. Consider swapping your word choice, possibly to say: "the specific country where the child goes will impart abundant knowledge."

You might not be able to make friends in a certain country, loneliness would overwhelm you.

This is a comma splice. Consider making the sentence stronger by connecting the two phrases: "If you are not able to make friends in a certain country, then loneliness might overwhelm you."

I tally with the community,

For clarity, you might say, "I side with the community."


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