Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS Task 1 - the happiness rate of American based on their marriage status



aflah15 32 / 18  
Jan 26, 2016   #1
The bar charts illustrate the happiness rate of American based on their marriage status and generation which is resulted from a survey. Both are measured in percentage. Overall, it is noticeable that people who have married are happier than unmarried citizens. It can also be seen that there is no significant effect of having children in the family.

Turning first to the married people in the US in different four age groups, the youngest couples have the highest number, at approximately a half of total, whereas the happiness of people aged 50-64 saw the lowest rank, at 40%. The remain two age groups provide a small difference with the youngest group, by 1%. In contrast, the small rate, at about a fifth of total, is given by bliss level of unmarried residents aged 18 to 64 which covers three age groups. However, the oldest people tend to be happy although they are single since they are the happiest group in this category.

On the other hand, second graph reveals that a gap between all families narrows down. Parents who have children aged under 18 are the happiest family, at 44%, while the adult generation bring the level of their parents' happiness at 41% as the lowest level. Interestingly, married couples who do not have generation show the second largest percentage, at more than two fifths of total. It gives information that children do not affect their parents' happiness.


  • bar_chart.jpg


vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 26, 2016   #2
You forgot to upload the chart picture so I just based the corrections on the previous poster's essays. Hopefully you and the others had the same chart to base your essay report on. So far, your work is complete in terms of information, but needs grammar work. You need to develop a more versatile and advanced vocabulary at this point.

... rate of AmericanS based on their ... generation AGES which is resulted from a survey BASED UPON A SURVEY. ... people who have ARE married are happier than unmarried citizens. It can also be seen that HAVING A CHILD HAS there is no significant effect of having children in ON THE HAPPINESS OF the family.

... half of THE total, ... . The remainING two age groups p... is given by THE bliss HAPPINESS level of unmarried ... which covers INCLUDES three age groups. ...

... , THE second graph ... . Interestingly, married couples who do not have generation CHILDREN show the ... do not affect their parents' A MARRIED COUPLE'S happiness.
ilankelo21 36 / 40  
Jan 26, 2016   #3
HI Aflah let me give you another form in your introduction.

The bar charts illustrate the SURVEY OF the happiness rate PACE of American based on their marriage status and generation CHILDREN THEY HAVE which is resulted from a survey AND THIS are IS measured in percentage. Overall, it is noticeable that people who have married are happier than unmarried citizens. It can also be seen that IN ANY CASE, there is no significant effect of having children TOWARDS THE RATE OF HAPPINESS.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 - the happiness rate of American based on their marriage status
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳