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IELTS Task 1 : Harbour City Tourism


tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 18, 2014   #1
The graph below shows Harbour City Tourism

Turning to the bar chart depicts the percentage of trend in tourism in Harbour City Tourism over a 30-year period.

First of all, in the 1970, the percentage of accommodation had increased from 1970 to 1985. In the 1970 the city hotel sat in the 45% and coastal hotel only had 25%. Moreover, the percentage of accommodation had risen significantly which reached over 70 percent in 1985, there were 75%-and-90%. This figure of city hotel occupancy declined dramatically by under 70 percent, while coastal hotel occupancy had the lowest percentage (18%) in 2000.

A more detailed look at the chart shows adventure tourism rose from a low of 20 per cent in 1970 onwards to a peak at 50% in 2000.

Moving onto transportation, the number of passenger preferred to travel by train than by air in 1970. Interestingly, rail and air travel stayed in the same percentage (50%). While, the number of rail passenger fell to a trough of 25%, the percentage of air transportation grown significantly into 70%.

All in all, If we analyze the data we can conclude that there were fluctuation percentage of two kinds of accommodation, while the percentage of adventure tourism rose year-by-year. However, air travel more popular than rail travel which was used by traveler in the last 2000.




znack 7 / 31 5  
Jan 19, 2014   #2
HI

Turning to the bar chart depicts the percentage of trend in tourism in Harbour City Tourism over a 30-year period.

You should make your intro clear,most importantly understand what a chart present,there are many variations of charts but each has similar purposes
If there is any differences in time so you can use "illustrate changes" like: "the chart illustrates change in"
Otherwise it can use "compare" like: "chart compares countries in"
I do not recommend to use any weird vocabulary in task 1 such as "depict"

Next point is you should find main verbs for this chart.
For instance in this chart it is "prefer to travel by" or "choose a hotel",

the percentage of accommodation had increased

In addition,what does this sentence mean? It is not the percentage of accommodation increases, it is a figure increases.

the number of passenger preferred to travel by train than by air in 1970

The number of passengers increases or what?

Interestingly,

do not use this sort of vocab as it inappropriate for this task.
There is no interesting things in this chart.

grown

grew

However, air travel more popular

air travel was more popular

good luck
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jan 19, 2014   #3
Let's take a look at your introduction;

Turning to the bar chart depicts the percentage of trend in tourism in Harbour City Tourism over a 30-year period.

This task is meant to assess your report writing capability.So you need to adopt a more formal tone in your writing. Things should be said in short and sweet without sounding personal. This is my suggestion;

The bar chart illustrates the percentage values of five different tourism aspects, namely city hotel occupancy,coastal hotel occupancy, adventure tourism, rail travel and air travel, in Harbour City over a 30-year period.

Pick up the major trends and discuss them in the next paragraph (overview)
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Jan 19, 2014   #4
The chart shows development of Harbour city tourism in three different year; 1970, 1985, and 2000. The report covered hotel occupancy in the two groups of hotel, adventure tourism, and transportation medium to arrive at Harbour city.

Firstly, city hotel occupancy rose from a low of 40 percent in 1970 to peak of 80 percent in 1985. Changing-over 15 years forward the numbers declined significantly to 60 percent. However, coastal city hotel reached a peak about 90 percent in 1985 from 20 percent in 1970, then was a low of trough about 10 percent in 2000

Moving into the Adventure tourism was a gradual rise from 20 percent in 1970 and rise to 40 percent in the 1985. This figure moved approximately50 percent between 1970 and 2000.

Moreover, traveling with train and airplane seemed favor for tourist in Harbour. Both figures have the same portion as 40 percent in 1985. This inversely proportional in other two years recorded, 20 percent tourist prior using train in 1970. Otherwise, in 2000 around 60 percent tourist esteemed plane more suitable media to reach Harbour city.

In conclusion, harbor city tourism changed year by year to increase number of tourist visiting, maintaining and improving services needed.

P.S; Please give me advice for my structures



fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jan 19, 2014   #5
(from 20 percent in 1970, then was a low of trough about 10 percent in 2000)

i suggest to put word 'from' followed by 'to'

Moving into the Adventure tourism was a gradual rise from 20 percent in 1970 and rise to 40 percent in the 1985

you should use past tense, because there is a year (in the 1985) it should be 'rose to'

Both figures have the same portion as 40 percent in 1985

both figures had the same portion as 40 percent in 1985

In conclusion, harbor city tourism changed year by year to increase number of tourist visiting

In conclusion, harbor city tourism has changed year by year to increase number of tourist visiting


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