Kasra, we need to clean up the grammar of your essay. It is a strong argument but weakens because of your weak command of the English language. Please note my grammar corrections as follows:
The author of the argument concludes that the denizens of Mentia have suffered less headaches due to increasing use of Salicylates, which have a soothing impact on body, in the past twenty years and this condition seems to continue in the future as a result of an upward trend toward using Salicylates. However, this conclusion cannot be accepted as it because it is based on a number of premises for the support of which some vital questions are to be answered.
- The author has based his conclusion that the residents of Mentia will suffer less headaches in 20 years because of the expected decrease in the use of Salicylates. However, should the upward trend continue, then the continued use of the drug will result in an increased percentage of headaches for Mentians. I find it hard to accept his conclusion because a number of supporting evidences were lacking when he presented his report.First of all, the writer refers to a study but there is no adequate information about the sample. We need to know how many people took part in the study reported. As you know, in research studies the greater the number of people in the sample the more reliable and valid the findings are. Maybe in this study only ten people participated; hence, the findings of such a study are neither reliable nor valid. Even if it is assumed that enough people took part in the study, the second question with the sample is whether it is representative of the concerned population in terms of age, sex, social class, culture and so forth. Maybe the people who participated in sample are young people whose bodies have more tolerance toward consuming medicine and this medicine could have adverse effects on older people. There is nothing in the passage to indicate these scenarios are impossible.
- One of the reasons that I cannot accept his assumptions is because he did not provide adequate information about the previous study done which produced the results he mentioned. Without a clear idea as to how many people participated in the program, and what the resulting ratio of users to non users was, it will be difficult to validate his results. There is no clear idea as to whether this refers to the population in general, is gender specific, or if it is based on a separate set of determinants which was not mentioned in the report. Therefore there is no clear understanding as to how the people of Mentia would truly respond to a decrease in Salicylate use.Second, the writer asserts that the plunge in the number of headaches was a result of increase in utilizing salicylates. We need to know whether people participating in the study have used another analgesics. Maybe people have used other medicines such as Valium or morphine alongside salicylates and the decrease in headaches is due to consuming that alternative medicines rather than salicylates. Let's suppose that the salicylates are the main reason for plunge in headaches. We need to know what it the chief cause of headaches and does it has remained constant during these twenty years. It goes without saying that air pollution could bring about headache; maybe in the past ten years, government has implemented measures which have led to gradual decline in the amount of air pollutant; consequently, the number of headaches and other disease has declined noticeably. There is nothing in the passage to indicate that these scenarios are not possible.
- Another reason, is that the writer zeroes in on salicylates as the main cause of the headaches when the people may also be taking other medications that have a calming effect on the body and thus, cannot attribute the decrease in headaches to Salicylates use alone. Once we know what the main cause of the headaches are, what alternative medicines are being used, and how the effects of the environment, such as air pollution, contribute to the headaches of the people, we will be able to better determine the effectiveness of the drug in treating headaches.Last, the author states that the citizens of Mentia will experience even less headaches in future, if companies add more salicylates to foods as flavors. We need to know whether consuming high dosage of salicylates each day would have side effects on people. Maybe if people use a considerable amount of salicylates each day, it would have devastating effects on their body organs or maybe they would become addicted to salicylates after consuming salicylates on a daily basis.
- The suggestion that Salicylates be added to the food manufacturing process is also questionable. No studies were presented with results pertaining to such a claim, neither has a statement from the Food and Drug administration been sought in order to give credence to such assumptions on the part of the writer.In the final analysis, the writer's conclusion cannot be taken to be correct because, as it was shown in the body paragraphs, it depends on a number of assumptions each of which is questionable. The conclusion can only be accepted if the questions already referred to are all answered.
- Due to the lack of supporting evidence, as indicated by my questions pertaining to the results of the study, one can conclude that the study in its current form, should not be accepted as factual and be made a basis for any medical decision regarding the headaches that the people of Mentia are suffering from now, or in the future.