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Healthcare, lack of money, school for kids - the percentage of problems facing by immigrants; IELTS1


anita11 28 / 20 2  
Feb 23, 2016   #1
Please note that the next time you provide a useless comment in other student's thread, your account will be suspended.

The bar chart reveals the percentage of problems, facing by immigrants, in three different groups based on the age. Overall, it is obviously seen that the majority of people, who decide living abroad, has to overcome the problems of healthcare and finances. Meanwhile, finding a school for the children merely becomes trouble for a small proportion people.

According to the data, more than a third of immigrants aged 35-54 has to classify healthcare trouble, while classifying of finances and determining schools for children are faced by less than a third and almost a fifth of people respectively. In addition, roughly 35% of elder immigrants (people over 55) feel difficult to sort out medical facilities, though it has quarrel five percent with sorting out finances. Interestingly, a very small number of older people must manage the education of children and it has the greatest gap with other problems.

On the other hand, classifying finances becomes the greatest trouble approximately 34 percent in the younger generations (people aged 18-34). It has the lowest gap as separating healthcare by two percent even though only 6% of immigrants in this group experiences difficulty to find an education institution for their children.




martinessays - / 4 2  
Feb 23, 2016   #2
all the groups face similar challenges to a different degree. In the category for youth, most people face the problem of sorting out their finances. This is followed by the those sorting out healthcare issues. The least number of people in this has trouble finding schools for their children. The middle aged groups comprises of people who are trying to start families and face most of the challenges. The largest proportion of the middle aged group faces challenges sorting out healthcare issues probably because they have young children who need constant healthcare. They also need finances to support their families and therefore face challenges sorting out their finances. 19% of the group experiences trouble finding schools for their children. In the older age group, only 2% of the population faces trouble finding schools for their children because in most cases their children are already grown up and independent. They have the least percentage of the population sorting out finance issues. The largest portion of the group, 36% has trouble sorting out their healthcare issues. Overall the group with most challenges is the middle aged group.
ADIE08 29 / 32 1  
Feb 23, 2016   #3
who decide livingto live abroad, has to overcome ...

... immigrants aged 35-54 has to classify healthcare (trouble, without coma) while classifying

determining schools for children are faced byfaced with less than a third and ...

On the other hand, classifying finances becomesbecome the greatest trouble approximately 34 ...
Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Feb 23, 2016   #4
Hello anita11

I think, the first paragraph will sound much better if rewritten as follows: "The displayed chart reveals the percentile ratio of problems, faced by immigrants, in relation to their age. As this chart reveals, most immigrants experience a number of financial and health-related challenges while trying to adapt to a new country. It is also rather clear that the concerned individuals do not think of the problem of trying to a suitable school for children to be quite as acute, as the rest". I think, you should consider using simpler sentences until you get a better grip on the language. Other than that, the text is easy to understand. Regards.
OP anita11 28 / 20 2  
Feb 25, 2016   #5
thanks for your comment. :) i'll try my best for writing. i need your suggestions again in the next time.
Bunglon11 28 / 31 5  
Feb 26, 2016   #6
Hi @anita11 let me check your essay

The bar chart reveals the percentage of problems, facing faced by immigrants, in three different age groups based on the age . Overall, it is obviously seen that the majority of people, who decide tolivinglive abroad, has to overcome the problems ...

I have a model if your are keen

A breakdown of percentage of integration problems faced by people in three different age groups who live abroad is revealed in the bar chart. Overall, it obviously can be seen that there are three main problems faced by all age groups. while the main problem of both group people aged 35-54 and over 55 is healthcare, finance problem is the biggest problem for young people.


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