IELTS 'helicopter model'; General test Writing Task 1: complaint letter

You have recently bought a toy over the internet. When it was delivered you have found some problems with it. Write a letter to the toy company manager and say

- Give details of the purchase.
- Describe the problem.
- What do you expect the company to do about it?

Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction about a helicopter model that I bought from your website recently. The model of this helicopter is called eagle 2000.

Well, the main problem is the remote controller. Firstly, I failed to charge the remote controller. So I opened the back of controller, and found the battery of the remote controller is actually unchangeable. Because it just fixed into the controller and the shape of the battery is unique, I cannot find it in the any stores to replace the original one. Secondly, I found some small cracks on both of controller rod, which is really weird, because I have just bought it for about a week. In addition to this, the helicopter itself has a litter bit loss of paint.

I am very disappointed with such a low-quality product you made. And I require full refund, otherwise I will make a complaint to consumer protection association.

Your earliest response will be highly appreciated.

Yours Sincerely,

You should try reading over your own work first before trying to have other people comment on it. For example, "week age" does not makes sense so i'm assuming it's a typo and you meant "week ago". There are also some awkward sentencing which ultimatly comes down to sentence structure. For example, the sentence starting with "I suppose...".

10 years old birthday
omit *old

make your sentences longer. you could have combined the two sentences to one using conjunctions