Many thanks for your comments. I hope that I got the structure of the discussion essay correct. If not, please show me the way to do it.
TOPIC: More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
WORD COUNT: 289.
Many nations, nowadays, are receiving financial support from international sources; and people are having different views about this. While some believe the monetary investment is very effective, I share the view with people who think that having nonfinancial supports is a better solution.
Financial aid is practical, necessary support to countries in many cases. It may come under various forms, including money, workforce, and machines, for instance. Without this support from external bodies, many countries may not be able to launch crucial works. To take an example, Africa has been accessing the resources from the World Bank and several nations to build roads, more hospitals, and schools for the citizens. These basic facilities are built from the availability of the financial resource.
However, advice and nonfinancial support can also bring immense benefits. Firstly, sending experts oversea is a common option that many governments do. These professional individuals can share valuable skills and experiences with local peers, and in many cases, offer technology transference. The knowledge and tools gained are not only helpful to a single project but also the future ones to come. To illustrate, the first subway system in Vietnam came from the cooperation between Japanese and domestic engineers. Secondly, wealthy economies can sign commercial contracts with developing countries. These agreements will encourage trades between nations, leading to sustainable development for all parties. In my opinion, I find that attaining mutual benefits is the most ideal solution, therefore, I am on this side of the argument.
In conclusion, there are indeed different ways that a country can help another. Financial assistance help achieve realistic goals, whereas, nonfinancial support may bring more values in the long-term for associated countries. It seems to me that the second method is better.The overall essay structure is well organised, covering both sides of views in a smooth flow.
Some sentences are in rather informal structure which can be improved as follow:
It may come under various forms, including money, workforce, and machines, for instance.
--> For instance, the provided supports can be in various formats such as actual monetary investment, imported labor force or machines.
