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(IELTS essay) high payment for sports professionals is fair or not



joythblessy 86 / 266  
Nov 26, 2012   #1
Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal of money than people in other important professions. Some people think it is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The world of sport is a multimillion-dollar industry. Recently successful sport professionals can earn enormous amount of money than other peoples who contributes their efforts in various other important fields, like teachers, scientists, doctors and so on. Some argue that these huge salaries are highly justified, while others deem it as unfair.

On the one hand, various professions contribute to making our world run more smoothly. Doctors put at least 5 years of study and internship. There work save lives. Teachers educate and inspire young people and their efforts produce responsible citizens of tomorrow. These people are vital part of our society. Nevertheless, these professionals struggle to meet both ends to meet, despite of their meaningful and critical contributions to the world.

On the one hand, sport is considered as a professional career, in which the top few players should rightly earn high salaries. They achieve fame and money by dint of their constant hard work and determination. Athletes train vigorously from an early age to become peak performers in their field. In course of training, they suffer injuries, even become disabled. They have to face tremendous pressure in each game, match or competition. Risky professions need high return.

Besides, their carrier is rather short and expensive. They compromise their personal lives and lose their privacy. I believed that, money is one form of recognition of their skills and dedication. Moreover, their achievement brings honor and attention, not only to themselves, but also to their teams, cities or countries. They inspire and entertain millions of people. Successful sport personalities encourage business in several ways. Additionally, some sports men often participate in social voluntary activities and support charity organizations to finance more fund.

In conclusion, it is true that our society places more value on sport, than on more indispensible professions and achievements. Personally, I think that, the amount of money, which sports starts makes, is justified as an honor to their hard work and dedication behind their victory, because unlimited talents should be rewarded unlimitedly.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Nov 26, 2012   #2
Recently successful sport professionals can earn enormous amount of money than other peoples who contributes their efforts in various other important fields, like teachers, scientists, doctors and so on. Some argue that these huge salaries are highly justified, while others deem it as unfair.

This sentence is too long. Let me help you, you could say it like this:
"Some people think that it is unfair for pro sports players to earn a large amount of money. When compared to people who work in important professions such as teachers, scientists, and doctors, their large salaries seem unjustified."

On the one hand, various professions contribute to making our world run more smoothly.
It may sound better like this: Some professions are crucial to our society and contribute to daily life.

Doctors put at least 5 years of study and internship.
This statement does not support your argument.

Nevertheless, these professionals struggle to meet both ends to meet, despite of their meaningful and critical contributions to the world.
Maybe you should mention the average pay of a doctor (maybe 80,000/yr.) or teacher (30,000/yr) Also, I don't believe that a doctor's salary would force him to struggle to make ends meet, doctors make good money, but far less than a baseball player, so maybe you should say that instead.


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