When a high school students graduate, most of them are encouraged to postpone their studies

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

When high school student graduated from school, most of them encouraged to postpone their studies and decided to work or travel. Taking this decision actually has many advantages and disadvantages not only for the students but also their parents. I believe that the disadvantages of postponing a year to study at university are outweigh its advantages.

Most people who graduated from high school are less of experience. They are too young to get to work or travel alone. In addition, knowledge which got in school is not enough for them to get a job. For instance, a movie which was titled 'LOL' played by Miley Cyrus. She was 18 years old when she graduated from high school, she worked and travelled a lot with her friends. To shorten the stories, she finally did not want to go to university because of the convenience whereas she just wanted to postpone a half year in the beginning. As a result, young adults in that ages are confusing and always changing minds. Parents are responsible for guiding their children and putting their children to university directly after graduated.

In contrast, deciding to work or travel before entering the university has advantages such as children can get the new experience and refresh they mind after studied almost 12 years. For instance, my friends who joined in social backpacker community learned about the geography of Indonesia almost a year before he entered university. Because of his parents' approval, he could travel around while teaching in poverty areas. When he finished travelling, he could decide the major based on his experience a year before. It can be seen that experience can teach us to cover the future.

To sum up, people have to consider the effect of deciding work or travel before continue studies in university. I suggest to ask parents before doing something because of at the age, children still need a guidance when planning something.

When high school studentS graduated from school, most of them ARE encouraged to postpone their studies and THEN decided to work or travel. ....I believe that the disadvantages of postponing a year to BEFORE study at university are outweigh its advantages.OVERALL , THIS IS A BRIEF AND EFFECTIVE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH. HOWEVER, THE TASK IS ONLY TO DISCUSS THE PLAUSIBLE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGED OF GAPPERS PHENOMENON, NOT WHETHER THE ADVANTAGE IS OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGE OR THE RESERVE. THUS, RATHER THAN MENTION ''OUTWEIGH'', IT IS BETTER TO DIRECTLY MENTION YOUR MAIN IDEA, THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES THAT YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IN YOUR BODY PARAGRAPH.


NEED TO EMPHASIZE OR MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THIS PARAGRAPH IS ABOUT THE DEMERIT OF POSTPONING TO ENTER UNIVERSITYTHERE IS NO CLEAR OR RELEVANT MAIN IDEA HERE. YOU JUST GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF THE PHENOMENON, BUT NOT THE FINAL RESULT ON HOW BAD THIS DECISION TO BE TAKEN BY HIGH SCHOOL LEAVERS.

For instance,THIS IS ILLUSTRATED ON a movie which was titled ...
... because of the convenience whereas AT THE FIRST she just wanted to postpone ...

... get the new experience and refresh they THEIR mind after studied FOR almost 12 years. .... NEED TO GIVE MORE SUPPORTING DETAILS OR EXPLANATION OF YOUR MAIN IDEA/STATEMENT BEFORE GIVING EXAMPLE. ....For instance, ....... to cover the future.

STILL NOT DEVELOPED IDEA ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE GIVEN RELEVANT MAIN IDEA HERE. YOU SHOULD DESCRIBE HOW THIS GAPPING EXPERIENCE BENEFITED THOSE WHO POSTPONED FIRST BEFORE STUDY AT THE THIRD EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION.

... of deciding work or travel FOR A PARTICULAR LENGTH OF TIME before continue studies in university.I suggest to ask parents before doing something because ...POOR SUGGESTION. NEED TO GIVE THE GENERAL, OR COMMONLY TRUE ONE WITHOUT BEING SOUND TO GIVE NEW IDEAS IN CONCLUSION.