IELTS TASK 2 : High sum of money of modern artist

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Government should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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The amount of money people earning sometimes is unfair. In a field of art, modern artist may receive high salary for their masterpiece creation while labors should be break their bone for years to get similar amount of money. Although some people view that government should be take a responsibility for this unfair situation, critics against such view. I agree that in this occasion the government is not granted to hand in.

Proficiency brings perfectness in terms of art work. It is true while the modern artists who implement their creative thinking onto high value creation are paid with immense sum by the art collector. Also, the high sum which modern artists receive is related to the quality instead of the quantity and their rare talent. For example, a 15 centimeter Buddha temple made by hand is granted times in comparison with factory production. On the other hand, modern artists also devote themselves find a unique concept in which ordinary people cannot do, such making impossible become possible. Pieter Padang, Minion creator, has brilliant idea to alter part of song lyric "I swear" become "underwear" when the Minion sing in Despicable Me. He granted huge sums for such idea.

Striking contrast, labor working in the merchandise factory receive coin of dollar even they make a hundred of 15 cm Buddha temples a day. In any case, a musician playing "I swear" several times receives different earnings that Padang got because the musician re-plays the song without any creation. Moreover, government cannot equalize the price of creation of modern artist because there is no certain parameter to value it, art value is about taste.

Having said that the huge sums of modern artists receives related to their struggle in the field of art, while the term of struggle might different with other field of job. I agree that government cannot take steps to make the salary between modern artists and other job similar because art price is about taste.

Earnings of people differ greatly and sometimes it is difficult to justify such differences.
In athe field of art, some modern artists may receive high salarypayments for their masterpiececreationcreative works while labors should bewhile some others would break their bones for years to get similarearn that amount of money.

Although some people view that government should be take a responsibilityresponsible for managing this unfair situation, critics against such viewothers view it differently .


This is very very confusing :( ... It is very important that you express your opinion very clearly. You need to pay more attention to clarity of your sentences as well as grammar. Also, keep your writing more aligned with the prompt. This is what I suggest ;

In my personal view, I believe that the government should not be held responsible for such earning disparities.

. It is true while the modern artists who implementemploy their creative thinking onto high value creations are paid with immenselarge sum of money by the art collector. Also, the high sum which modern artists receive is related to the quality instead of the quantity and their rare talent.

Well, I think you have not understood your topic clearly :( It does not say all modern artists earn thumping sums. It says some modern artists earn great and some don't. So you've got to deal with this issue.