Higher number of youngsters move from developed to poorer countries, to do some charitable work

I really wanna know how scored I could get. So yeah, I appreciate your all reviews. Thank you for helping me. Hope I get your feedback soon. <3 Love!! So here is the topic and my essay

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses.

Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people.

Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of youngsters from developed countries moving to poorer countries to do charitable work. There are many good grounds to explain this trend and Personally, I hold a strong belief that both the community and young people could reap benefits from this work.

On the one hand, there are diverse explanations why the young spend more time helping the communities in underprivileged countries. The first reason is that the development of transportation and technology make the tendency more popular. Young people in wealthy nations can easily go to less developed countries and access information about the material life of suffering people here, thanks to the convenience of transportation and the ubiquity of the Internet. For instance, poignant images and stories young adults witness on the Internet are ways to understand how difficult the poor are without housing and education, making them feel more sympathetic and arouse a sense of community. The second reason is that young people want to beautify their CVs to gain scholarships or increase the odds of finding jobs. Recruiters always value those who have voluntary experience because they are hard-working, devoted, and kind-hearted. As a result, they have a head start over those without charitable work when applying for jobs or scholarships.

On the other hand, there is no doubt that both young individuals and the communities would derive benefits from this trend. To begin with, taking part in unpaid work offers young people many golden opportunities to acquire hands-on experience. Embracing new cultures and having new relationships not only help them broaden their horizons but also improve confidence and life skills such as solving problems. This helps them understand more about their value and inspire others in making the world better

In a nutshell, youngsters in affluent countries moving to poorer countries to volunteer becomes more popular because of certain reasons. I suppose that this trend is advantageous to both the young and the society.

The student cannot recieve a passing score for this essay. The discussion response provided does not align itself with the given discussion questions. For clarity:

Questions:WHY? WHO BENEFITS MORE FROM THIS, THE COMMUNITY OR THESE YOUNG PEOPLE.
Response 1: There are many good grounds to explain this trend - Does not directly answer "why?"
Response 2: both the community and young people - Writer must pick only one of the two options for his solid response. Hint: The community encompasses all the members of the group, inclusive of young people.


Recap the reasons for the summary conclusion.


So you are no longer sure of the validity of your previous response? This is nota good place to suddenly have doubts as it will alter the TA score based on opinion clarity.