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IELTS Writing Task 2 - History vs Science and Technology in High School



ashik35 1 / -  
Apr 22, 2022   #1
Prompt: Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.

Response:
Every subject taught in school is selected by considering their importance on the later of the students. While some people believe that History is one of the most crucial subjects, others argue that Science and Technology related subjects are more important. In this essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I think both subjects are necessary.

History prepares a student for real life by delivering practical knowledge. By looking at the past, one can gain a vast knowledge. It can be used to get away with a similar situation happening again in the future. Because the students will have the knowledge beforehand by studying history, they can stay prepared for an identical event. For instance, by looking at the Bangladesh-Pakistan war in 1971, it is observed that we have to be united to bring justice against immorality. If the same scenario comes again, we can use this acquired knowledge from history to get on the winner side. The more prepared a student for the battle in practical life, the more possibility of his victory.

With the recent technological advancement, a nation can be developed by utilizing science and technology. The population of the world is growing and the need for making tasks faster is also increasing. This has lead to an ever expanding field of applications of science and technology. Because science can make life easier and tasks faster with new innovations, it has become a crucial subject to study in recent times. Crops, for instance, need to grow faster to meet the needs of growing population of the world. This can be done by engineering the genes of the cereals. The more efficient a nation is with its tasks, the more it can be developed.

To conclude, every subject has their own impacts on a student's career. While history can prepare him for upcoming real life events, science and technology can increase his efficiancy in executing a certain task. I believe both of them are crucial to make a student successful.

Please grade me in a IELTS Writing band score. Thanks.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Apr 22, 2022   #2
The first sentence is an incomplete thought. It should not be presented in the paragraph for 2 reasons:
- It does not relate to the original discussion foundation
- It is a personal opinion of the writer that should be presented in the writer's opinion sentence.

The topic sentence of the prompt restatement should always follow the content of the original presentation, without any alterations or additional information. This sentence will force score reductions in terms of restatement accuracy. However, the essay will have limited deductions since the writer presented a strong personal opinion + summarized reason presentation towards the end of the paragraph.

The student has not proven the 2 public opinions to be true or false, or of equal importance based on public opinion. The reason for the public opinion must first be stated, followed by the writer's opinion of that viewpoint. Either he supports it or not. His opinion should be effectively merged into the public discussion paragraphs.

By including a clear explanation of his personal opinion in the concluding paragraph, the writer will cause the essay to get a failing score due to the lack of proper reverse paraphrase in the concluding summary. The essay is open ended rather than concluded in this current format.

*Contact us privately for detailed scoring services.


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