Holiday at home or abroad - ielts writting task 2

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Do you agree or disagree?

In today's interconnected world, people have unprecedented access to information through smartphones with internet connections. This wealth of knowledge has become invaluable, opening up new possibilities for businesses and tourism. I firmly believe that in the future, more individuals will opt to vacation in their own countries rather than traveling abroad. Several factors support this viewpoint.

Firstly, the cost of international travel can be prohibitively high. When tourists venture abroad, they often face unexpected expenses, which can strain their budgets. Additionally, the weather and cultural differences in foreign destinations can be unsettling for travelers. Take, for instance, my uncle's experience during a trip to Thailand last summer. Although he won a free ticket through a game, his child fell ill after trying the famous Tom Yum dish, leading to a day spent nursing their sickness. Moreover, the unfamiliar smells in local markets affected his family's well-being. These anecdotes underscore the challenges of international travel.

Furthermore, travelers often underestimate the richness of their own country's traditional culture. Many assume that they already know enough about their homeland or consider their culture outdated and uninteresting. However, in reality, numerous individuals are dedicated to preserving and promoting their traditions daily. Both teenagers and adults recognize the cultural value within their heritage and strive to share it with the world, particularly with younger tourists. A prime example is the growing popularity of the Old Vietnam Museum on social media, where Vietnamese teenagers skillfully lead efforts to engage and contribute to the museum. This demonstrates the untapped potential for tourists to explore and appreciate their own cultural heritage.

In conclusion, those with health concerns should carefully consider international travel and perhaps seek assistance from tour guides. It is imperative that we support and foster our country's traditional culture to preserve and develop its unique brilliance. By exploring and valuing our own heritage, we can create a more meaningful and sustainable tourism industry for the future.

The first paragraph concerning the difficulties of international travel is well written to a certain point. The way that the early paragraph was explained shows a clear understanding of the connection between the 2 topics you chose to discuss in that section. However, you suddenly added a 3rd reference, which you were not able to properly develop / explain in the same paragraph. Therefore, that reference will result in an under developed paragraph presentation, leading to a deduction in C+C points. It would be best to limit your explanations to 2 connected reasons per paragraph. You do not need to overstate your references, you need to make sure that you are properly explaining your opinion to the reader instead.