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Just a few hours' exercise a week makes your heart grow bigger



ekalamarsyari11 72 / 101  
Aug 11, 2016   #1
Keeping fit is one way to get healthy life. Nowadays, modern lifestyle has brought negative impact to human heart. For example, there are many people who dies from hearth attact. It should be caused by consuming too much junk food and doing less exercise.

However, in fact people only need three hours per week to have better heart condition. Declan O'Regan at Imperial College London and his team discovered that doing three or more hours of exercise a week can have larger hearts too - and may be misdiagnosed as having a heart condition. This research was done by scanning 1096 people who had healthy hearts. They found that, on average, the more exercise they did, the larger their hearts were.

People who did as little as three hours of exercise a week have 2.4 times larger left ventricle and 4.4 times larger for those who exercised for between 3 and 5 hours a week.The right ventricle was 1.7 times more likely to be enlarged in people who did 3 to 5 hours' exercise a week, and 9.1 times more likely to be bigger in people doing more than that.

O'Regan said that change of heart shape and size could lead to a misdiagnosis for heart conditions.

newscientist.com/article/2100358-just-a-few-hours-exercise-a-week-makes-your-heart-grow-bigger/

Halim15 7 / 11  
Aug 11, 2016   #2
Hi Eka :)

I have just read your summary today and i want to give you suggestion, I hope u are not mad :)

...there are many people who dies from hearth attactattack

According toDeclan O'Regan at Imperial College London

Keep writing Eka :)
Best regards,
Ilmi_03 47 / 67  
Aug 12, 2016   #3
Hi, Eka.
Here's a few suggestions to your analysis.

I notice that some of the sentences in your essay are quite hard to follow. It would be better to use some conjunctions or comparisons.

The first paragraph
It is noticeable that keeping fit is the one way to maintain people's health. However, modern lifestyle has brought numerous negative effects to human health, particularly heart attack. Evidence has showed that there are many people died because of this deathly disease. Consuming junk food frequently and doing less exercise are suspected as the key factor of this illness.

That's all for you, Eka.
I hope this will be helpful :)
riaerizal11 3 / 5  
Aug 12, 2016   #4
dear Eka,
it's so nice of you to gave me a feedback in my previous post.
i have read your summary, and i agree with ilmi_03's suggest.
you'd better use more conjuction and comparison, especially for the third paragraph.

besides, you'd better check your writing twice or three times before you upload it. the tips is to avoid some mistakes below:
- there are many people who dies (because of ) from hearthattactattack .
- that by doing three or more hours of exercise a (i guess you'd better use per ) week can have larger hearts too... ; in addition, there's no subject here

- i think you should find another form to replace "as little as"

that's all for you Eka. hope it will be helpful
good luck for your IELTS preparation :)


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