Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

What is better: work only three days a week for long hours or five days a week for shorter hours?

Maiya 1 / -  
Apr 27, 2018   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


the system of work

Working hours is always a hot issue regarding the labor law. It can change people's lifestyle and how people perceive it. Some people argue that work three days a week for long hours is more preferable than working straight five days for shorter time frame while others assert differently. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement that working for shorter days but relatively longer hours could be enjoyable.

First, people can do limited wise and effective decisions per day. Working three days but long hours means making critical calls frequently within a short time. According to a scientific research, one can make only a certain amount of smart decisions within a day because people have limited energy to consume. Once exceed that amount, those problems one has to solve might not get the best results and no one wants bad consequences especially for whom has to deal with business. Take Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's CEO, as an example. He has to make up to hundreds of decisions every day and most of it is tied to the future of Facebook. He also knows this rules, saving the effort for the real matters matters, so he wears the same outfit every day for work, helping him focuses on the important problems from the beginning of the day. Considering the fact that Facebook is the major market player in the social platform, Mark Zuckerberg is doing well along the way. This example proves that long working hours is not preferable.

This is my very first post and all comments are welcomed. The reason why I am here is that I didn't reach my target score in TOEFL writing and really want to improve writing skills through your help and comments. Thank you.
sfiza 17 / 28  
Apr 28, 2018   #2
you are welcomed.

Working hours is always a hot issue informalword for academic test regarding the labor law.
( poor introduction)

first of all, you need to understand the prompt. Then you have to paraphrase it with the help of synonyms or different structures of sentences making.Finally you give your pinion about it. you write body para 2 or 3 body instead of only one. then it would be reader friendly as well as proper format of writing.

First, people can do limited wise ... unclear topic sentence
Working three days but withlong hours means ... just write your thought clearly.
... certain amount of smart less formal word decisions within ... its too long , break it in two sentences.
Take Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's CEO, as an example. He Zuckerberg, Facebook's CEO has to make made up to ...

you need to read a lots to know how a essay develop.

keep writing :)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478  
Apr 28, 2018   #3
Ling, the weakness of your TOEFL essay starts with your first paragraph. The introduction of the discussion topic and your thesis statement, which should include a strong reference to a preliminary supporting fact for your opinion, needs to be presented. Right now, you are presenting this like an IELTS tests instead of a TOEFL test. Though these exams are both for the English language, these have different approaches to essay writing. The similarities only being that each paragraph needs to be 3-5 sentences long and it has to be composed of 5 paragraphs. The difference? The discussion of the opinion starts in the strongest manner within the first paragraph. A stronger introduction to this topic could be:

The normal work week is composed of a minimum of 40 hours per week, 5 working days a week. Now, some people believe that it would be nicer to work only 3 days out of the week for a longer period of time daily rather than working for 5 days for 8 hours per day. I believe that it would be better to stick the 40 hour work week instead. There are several reasons that I support this opinion.

My first reason is that... .

Try to write at least 250 words covering 5 paragraphs, with one fully developed reasoning in every paragraph. That stronger and clearer your explanation, the higher the possible score. You have a pretty decent grasp of the English language. The problem, is that you are limiting your paragraph presentations and trying to discuss everything in one paragraph. What you should be doing is expanding your paragraph presentations instead through the use of the one topic per paragraph rule of thumb.

Home / Writing Feedback / What is better: work only three days a week for long hours or five days a week for shorter hours?