owned or rented accommodation
The bar chart illustrates the rate of households that lived in owned or rented accommodation in England and Wales during 93 years from 1918 to 2011.
Overall, renting accommodation was the category which dominated in the proportion of choice of households, but after that, owing accommodation replaced its and became the most popular type of housing in England and Wales.
In 1918, nearly four-fifths households chose to live in rented accommodation, which quadrupled that of the percentage of owned households. The difference between these two numbers was increasingly shortened. In particular, from 1918 to 1961, the statistics of house in rented accommodation dropped gradually to about three-fifths, while that of owned households increased to more than two-fifths.
Till 1971, the percentages of the two categories of housing stood at the same point, with 50% for each one. At 1981 to 2001, the people who lived in the rented house continued to decrease and reached at the lowest point at 30% in 2001, whereas the rate of household in owned accommodation reached an all-time high when it grew to 70% in the same year. However, there was a recovery to about 35% by household rented accommodation,this means that the number of people in the owned house declined slightly to about 65%.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15388 Since you forgot to upload the image with the essay that you wrote, your writing cannot be reviewed for data accuracy and task requirements. Only a grammar and general review of your essay can be completed. Please remember to upload the image next time you post an essay so that a complete review of your work can be provided.
Your essay lacks in punctuation marks. You have a tendency to write extremely long sentences without offering the reader a pause, through the use of a comma or, a period, which would signify the end of one thought and the start of another. Without proper punctuation marks throughout your essay, it becomes difficult to make sense of what you are trying to say. It is difficult to remember what you have said previously because you are trying to connect several thoughts into one sentence. The presentation should be limited to 1 thought per sentence or 2 connected thoughts, properly punctuated, for the benefit of the reader and presentation clarity.
Limit your essay to only 150-190 words. Always allot time for editing your paper. Use about 5 minutes to edit the final paper. Remember, there are only 20 minutes allotted for the task completion and within that time frame you will need to:
- Draft the information representation
- Arrange the information being presented
- Check for grammar, spelling, and information errors
- Correct the errors
- Finalize the content
So you have to focus on brevity for your presentation. Focus on conciseness and coherence. You need to make sure the data you are presenting is complete and, informative. I cannot say that your presentation is accurate at this point. You forgot to upload the image that would have helped me figure that out. Maybe I can do that next time for you.
(WARNING! STUDENTS CANNOT POST THE IMAGE FOR THE OP! DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK!)
@Holt
I'm so sorry about that
Here is the image of my topic :v
baimauieltswritin.png
Dear, in task 1, when a graph include timestamps, it is important to report the trend only and make comparison, as the prompt requires. Dont too ambitious about the unusual words that you know.
The word "this means that" show that your own opinion is about to come, in IELTS task 1, you shouldn't mention your own opinion. Moreover, this sentences : "However, there was (...) to about 65%" is not appropriate in task 1, since you mention about something you conclude in your own view. The figure of household in rented accommodation can't affects the in owned one, therefore, you should choose another data to compare or report.
@miatran239
thank you so much <3