Human activities on land and in the sea cause extinction of many animal species

Causes and Solutions of Animal Extinction

Question
The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

Essay
As people's exploitation of not only land and water but also their animals are now in the alarming rate, the diversity loss is becoming a global problem. Accordingly, this activity should be banned by the government by establishing spaceless residence, wildlife subject, and deterrent punishment.

The variety of animals in the environment has been reducing because their habitat is destructed by humans for the settlement purpose. To illustrate, people massively cut trees in the forest to provide the space and resource for building houses which then kills many kinds of animals as they lose their place and food sources. This problem is also worsened by the fact that many extinct, wild animals are hunted uncontrollably for the commercial utilization, such as in Africa, where 95% of the black rhino population has been exterminated by poachers for their horns.

An alternative approach that can be introduced to solve the aforementioned problem is doing activities without harming nature, likes building vertical houses that can reduce the housing area needed. In addition, the authority should campaign the importance of animal conservation by integrating it into the school curriculum and making it the most frequent topic in the mass media. Besides, imposing a punishment for people who irresponsibly destroy both the environment and creatures, ranging from fining to prison, is imperative in order to bring a deterrent effect.

All in all, by reducing the space for residents and promoting the urgency of the environment as well as making a policy, human irresponsible activities, such as deforestation and illegal hunting, that may kill animal species can be controlled and reduced.

The A variety of
for the settlement purposes
the forests
provide the spaces and resources
lose their places
the commercial utilizations
the authorityies
the mass media

Still a good essay but you had problems with using "the" as I corrected for you. You should have a quick revision about when using "the" in a sentence.