Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Humankind can work from everywhere without coming to the workplace. Task 2



irfan727 49 / 68  
Nov 23, 2015   #1
Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.)
Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?


In the modern era, information technology has the prominent role. It can alter the way of labour commit their job. It is utterly true that this brings several benefits like people are able to know the recent condition of working field and it very useful for educational children to gain the up-to-date information regarding the insight. Yet, technology has miserable impacts to people who access it such individualism and unhealthy lifestyle.

One of the main merits which affected by information technology is that humankind can work from everywhere without coming to the workplace. This is because they can control their information from their sophisticated devices. Then, they will know the movement of stock and commodity exchange while, they are in the irritating situation such in traffic congestion.

The other benefits are applied to the students, they are more likely to search the information by using the technology like the internet. With this, they can find the notion by clicking the keyword on the search engine website. Google as example, students who want to study English, they will get many methods on that site. In this case, they do not need any more to come to the library.

Nevertheless, technology as well as influence people particularly in the unhealthy lifestyle. First, the evolving of technology make the inhabitants become individualism because of addicting in front of screen. This is affected because they solely communicate in the virtual world so, they do not care about the around environment. Furthermore, people who sit for many hours for accessing the computer will have a particular disease like diabetes. This is because they rarely move and usually they operate the computer accompanied by snacks. So, to solve it may be they need to carry out exercise for several minutes.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that although the technology of information has some negative impacts to the society, the citizens cannot get rid of it. The reason of this, technology make them easily to manage their jobs.

fidelispermana 3 / 2  
Nov 23, 2015   #2
hai irfan727,

It's good that you made little grammar mistakes, but I think you need to develop your idea toward the topic. Sometimes, the idea is out of topic. However just keep writing..

... regarding the insight (what kind of insight? why suddenly 'educational children'?) .

One of the main merits which affected by information technology is ...
(The idea is good but the sentences sound like you are writing in Bahasa)

... by using the technology like the internet. With this, they can find the notion by clicking ...

Furthermore, people who sit for many hours for accessing the computer will have a particular disease like diabetes (are you sure about this?) .

(to be honest I cannot see the relevance of the idea of this paragraph with the topic)
OP irfan727 49 / 68  
Nov 23, 2015   #3
Ok thanks, for your valuable corrections.


Home / Writing Feedback / Humankind can work from everywhere without coming to the workplace. Task 2
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳