Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


[TOEFL iBT INDEPENDENT TASK] THE INTERNET OR PRINTED MATERIAL FOR RESEARCH?



Minh Nguyen 2 / 3  
Jul 17, 2017   #1
TOPIC: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to use printed material such as books and articles to do research than it is to use the internet. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

sources for information materials


___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In the past, without the widespread presence of the Internet, people made use of printed materials for information. However, the Internet apparently wires in every corner of the world by now. Hence, most information now is referenced from the Internet, which I am totally in favor of. This essay will explore the reasons for my choice.

To begin with, searching for information from the Internet is less time-consuming than from books and articles. It is because of the introduction of searching engines, which allow the exploration of millions of data. All users have to do is to type down the questions that they feel dubious, and all sorts of answers emerge at the click of a button. For example, when an Internet user asks for "How to say hello in English", the searching engine on the Internet will reply with thousands answers on the dot. Compared to the printed one, it is far faster. On using books, readers have to look up the content and spend time looking for the pages. For this reason, it would take at least several minutes to do the book-searching procedures.

Secondly, the Internet can provide more sufficient answers than the other can. The Internet is dominated by billions of people. Among these people, there are possibly thousands of experts coming from different fields. So, when someone proposes a question, it can be answered by different experts. Consequently, the response to the question may possibly never get inaccurate. Meanwhile, the author who writes a book, whose authority on their subject might be profound, can make a mistake. But, since he authorizes the book by himself, the mistake will surely be overlooked. A classic case in point for this is the recently published result from the findings from Harvard University. It has pointed out clearly that nearly 75% of the book contains some erroneous details, while the Internet only publishes 20% false information. Finally, the finding constitutes a conclusion that the reliability of the Internet overwhelms that of the printed material.

In the final analysis, the Internet is a worthier source of reference for researching than the other one. Therefore, we should appreciate the essence of the Internet for researching purpose because the Internet are not sure to be here to stay.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thank you for commenting on my essay! I am so grateful that you guys could help!

kiki2807 2 / 2  
Jul 17, 2017   #2
I think at the end of introduction, "...which I'm totally in favor of due to the benefits it offers" will be better than the last sentence.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Jul 17, 2017   #3
Minh, your body paragraph for your reasoning is acceptable. The problem is that your opening paragraph and concluding paragraphs still have an improper presentation. For one, the way that you represented the paraphrased prompt in the opening statement, you are not accurately retelling the topic and instructions from the original. Your paraphrase actually had you representing a different topic for discussion. One of the correct ways to have opened the essay is as follows:

These days, there are two different ways to accomplish research work. The first one, is by consulting and referring to books and the other, is by conducting an internet search. Some people say that it is better to use printed material rather than the internet. I disagree with this statement and I will be presenting reasons and examples below to help explain my disagreement.

Do you see how I used keywords from the original in order to paraphrase the original statement? This presentation tells the reviewer that I understood the essay requirements and will be discussing it in the suggested manner of the original prompt. This strong paraphrasing representation will immediately insure that I get the highest possible marks for the the task accuracy section of the essay. Meaning I have a better chance of passing the overall essay requirements because of the impressive paraphrasing.

Your concluding statement is not even near the required elements for it to be considered acceptable nor a proper conclusion. If I were to write the closing statement for this essay I would probably have said:

Due to the ease by which a person can do research using the internet and the fact that the internet is easier to access than most books, I will reiterate my disagreement with the opinion that it is better to use printed material than the internet. Research done using more accurate sources, such as those found on the internet, assures the researcher that his work will have verified and up to date information as opposed to dated book references. Printed material is not better than the information found on the internet.

By the way, in reference to your data from Harvard University, please do not mention any researched information because you won't have access to , nor have the time to do actual research during the exam. Use only common knowledge, personal experience, or personal opinions which will further help increase your score because this will show the examiner that you know how to relate your personal side with the given discussion in an appropriate and applicable manner. This will result in an increased score consideration in the end.


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL iBT INDEPENDENT TASK] THE INTERNET OR PRINTED MATERIAL FOR RESEARCH?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳