Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


The idea of earning money by working for just a single job is not popular already; Cambridge IELTS-1



Sunitha1213 1 / -  
Dec 13, 2015   #1
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. - Cambridge IELTS-1

Now-a-days the unfashionable thought of earning is working for a single job which is modernized by choosing several jobs to work and earn more, and getting addicted to this kind of life. Though, I agree to the statement, but it has both pro's and con's which is one of the most debatable topic.

Firstly, considering the category of employment, there are vast options to develop career such as public sector and private sector. However, the employees in many companies are bounded with certain policies, that their worker's should work only with the signed organization as many people familiarized earlier, but many are choosing to work part time as well, to fetch better life's. Gradually, this has improved significantly and adapted to the culture of having several jobs or by completing their unfinished education or higher studies, whilst working. I agree to this idea of working to reach one's goals.

Nevertheless, instead of choosing several careers, it is better to stick to the single career and can sophisticate the individual and organizational development. In addition, single jobs can be pleasant and focused whereas multi jobs are more stress full, which ultimately not beneficial to anyone's life.

Finally I opine that, approximately 50% of current generation are optimistic about single career who are called professionals. For instance, Doctors, Lawyers, Government employees etc., are proved single careers.

To conclude, choosing single or several career is totally depends on an individual idea of earning money, in which latter has become more popular in the present era to maintain their own level of standards. According to me, the percentage of single career has decreased, but not old fashioned.

aniani 20 / 19  
Dec 13, 2015   #2
Now-a-days(Nowadays,) the unfashionable thought of ...
Though(However) , I agree to the statement, but it has both pro's and con's(pros and cons) which is one of the most debatable topic.

... options to develop career(comma) such as public sector and private sector.
... that their worker's(workers) should work only with the signed organization as many people familiarized earlier, but ...
(According to this, I would argue that) I agree to this idea of working to reach one's goals.

Nevertheless, instead of choosing several careers, it is better to stick to the single career and can(be more sophisticated)sophisticate the individual and organizational(in their) development. In addition, single jobs can be pleasant and (more) focused whereas multi jobs are more stress full(stressful) , which ultimately not beneficial to(and do not be followed by benefits for) anyone's life.

Finally I opine(would state) that,(without comma) approximately 50% of current ...

To conclude, choosing single or several career is totally depends(depended) ] on an individual idea of earning money
Riiskacha03 31 / 33  
Jan 8, 2016   #3
You should write the question to make the task clear and easier to correct, is the essay fulfill all the task or not.
In my opinion, it would be better if you put your reason, why you agree toward a statement, then mention what the pros and cons are.

there are vast options to develop career, such as public sector andor private sectorS .

you use "work" for many times, try to make a variation by paraphrase it. Paraphrase make your writing is more interesting to read and looked more elegant.

According to me , the percentage of single career has decreased , but not old fashioned.

It is less appropriate to mention the proportion of the data based on your own opinion. Mention an information as data, you should have the fact.


Home / Writing Feedback / The idea of earning money by working for just a single job is not popular already; Cambridge IELTS-1
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳