Essay about the idea of study university for free - feedaback

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Competent people need to allow students to study in the university without charge which has always been a topic of general interest. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that tuition payment is necessary for all universities as well as the national economy.

Supporters of the opinion about learning for free argue that everybody has accessibility to be educated in an advanced environment. Although the world is constantly growing, some families still don't have enough budget for their children to learn. This reason led to the suspension of many students and affected the development in each country. Particularly in Guinea, since the expensive fee to learn, many children can't go to school which makes this country have the lowest level of development. Moreover, in the future, if this case is still not handled by the government, the number of illiterate people will increase sharply.

In my view, it is necessary for authority to collect tuition from students. First of all, we need to sympathize with the government's budget in many developing countries where they don't have enough to pay for public services, even education. Secondly, depending on the major, each student will have a different fee to study, therefore, if university education is free, expensive majors will be chosen by many students and it is going to put pressure on the fund for education in many countries. However, nowadays many developed countries have financial support for all the students who apply to their particular university.

In conclusion university's fee will be dependent on the education's development of each country. However, if some students in developing countries have a great achievement in learning, they can entirely have the opportunity to have the international scholarship which helps them develop their own education.

Thanks for giving me feedbacks about this essay.

The writer is using English words in this essay without a true understanding of the meaning of the word. This leads to confusing and incorrect discussion references that make his sentence and paragraph presentations confusing for the reader to comprehend. He should ensure that he checks the meaning of words he wants to use in his practice essays before he actually uses it in the presentation. That way he will have a chance to build his vocabulary properly and also, avoid making any score reducing mistakes in his presentation.

A mistake was made in reference to the opinion presentation of the paragraph. The writer indicated the extent of the validity of the topic rather then indicating the extent of his support or non-support of the given discussion. Based on this error, the presentation will receive a failing TA score. It does not address the prompt requirements as expected. The overall discussion presentation is not valid since it is addressing a prompt created by the writer rather than the prompt that accompanied the original text. There is no way that this essay will manage to receive even a low passing score.

The writer's position is not very clear, you should affirm again your extent of disagreement or agreement in your conclusion too.
The mistake in your essay is that you discuss 2 sides instead of focusing on supporting your argument.
The conclusion paragraph is quite irrelevant and baffles me a lot. Why "university's fee will be dependent on the education's development". The use of "will' makes it look like you are making a prediction instead of concluding your idea. The second sentence is completely off-topic. I think that the chance of excellent students getting an international scholarship has nothing to do with the topic you are writing about!