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Idolization and its effects

tunglinh0907 8 / 18 3  
Aug 12, 2017   #1
Topic: Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

positive sides but also harmful consequences of idolization

There has been a trend that many celebrities are idolized by young generations despite their infamy. As far as I am concerned, even though these people may exert certain adverse impacts on teenagers' growth, they can also bring many benefits for youngsters.

On the one hand, youngsters may be negatively influenced due to admiring world-renown people excessively. It is clear that when young people idolize these famous people, they usually make efforts to mimic their idols as much as they can. Youngsters, nevertheless, are so inexperienced that they cannot distinguish between the standard behaviours and the wrongdoings. Therefore, young people may imitate what their idols have done such as smoking cigarettes or turning to illicit drugs, which may have detrimental effects on their personalities and development. Another downside is idolization may make students distract from their learning and lose family or friend interactions. More importantly, some teenagers may also copy exactly like infamous people due to their appearance or stylish clothes or their bad behaviours, which may make them addicted to luxurious lifestyle and waste an excessive amount of money.

On the other hand, admiring media and sports players can benefit young generation in many aspects. It will be better for young people who have burning desire to become athletes or movies stars like Rafael Nadal or Angelina Jolie to admire them as people can study skills and try to progress their skills. These professional players or popular actors can be role models for young generation and provide for them an incentive to fulfill their passion. Additionally, athletes and singers' mistakes can also act as good lessons for viewers. For instance, a few sportspeople utilized stimulant or doping when playing sports and were disqualified or punished strictly. As a result, the consequences can act as a deterrent for new players and also viewers from using these doping.

In conclusion, I believe that idolization can have both positive sides and its harmful consequences, but it really depends on teenagers' attitude and their choices.

zeal 5 / 14 8  
Aug 12, 2017   #2
the essay is well organised, in my view, apart from the last two lines of the second paragraph. I assume these two lines are seperate two supporting sentences, so, I think it is better to expend these two ideas with examples.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,732 3069  
Aug 12, 2017   #3
Linh, this is not a comparison essay. This is a singular opinion essay as indicated by the prompt instruction sentence. You are to discuss whether the admiration of young people directed at celebrities who are not exactly role models is a positive or negative development. Your response should have been clear. It is either you say that this is a positive development and then explain why that is or, it is a negative development and justify what you believe that to be the case. In this instance, you played safe by discussing both sides of the opinions that exist. That is not the correct approach to take. When the keyword "OR" is in a statement, that means that only one position or explanation must be presented in the essay. Since your essay did not accurately represent the prompt requirement, this will not garner a passing score. You deviated from the prompt requirement and as such, will be scored down to a maximum level due to a clear lack of understanding of the English instructions on your part. Here is a tip. While you are doing the practice tests, if you are not sure about how to approach a certain prompt requirement, ask your tutor or a friend to explain it to you. That way you will become familiar with the various types of prompts and how to address the discussion in the proper manner.

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