IELT writing: who should teach children to be good member of society?

Please help me polish the essay. thanks buddy.

Writing practice

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More than 20 years ago, when being asked if parents responsible for teaching children good values of society, it is acknowledged popularly. Nowadays, the answer for this is quite controversial. Some people said that the role of school is to educate therefore school must lead the way in teaching moral values. Personally I 'm the supporter of parents' team. I attribute to three factors.

First of all, parents provide experience for their children and it continues to have a positive and life-long impact. Since the birth of the child, the role of parents not only offer them enough food and equal chance of education, but they need to help their children to understand the importance of showing the respect to elders and the other people who live with them under the same roof, This is we call the basic rule of society. How parents react to the neighbors and the attitudes towards different situations gradually embeded a picture of socialization into the children's mind before they can get their feet on the ground. Children learn from their parents what is important in life and how they expect to be. In this way, no one can replace the role of parents.

But，this is the incomplete picture of it. Once children go to school, what could be improved is their exposure to wide social circle but not the social function. Lack of the ability to make sound judgment at youth hood and in-adequate knowledge from textbook may lead to the risk of wrong deed like cheating, bullying and so on. Parents take a leading role in parents' and teachers' meeting was proved efficiently how it works the system that parents keep closer eyes on the kids what to do and instruct them how to behave at school. Thanks to this process, same mistake will be avoid intentionally. Such an experience will teach the children to interact with their counterparts effectively and leads to make contribution to fulfill with community's satisfication rather than self-centered.

When step into the complexity of adult's world, it should be noted that as a valuable member of society, parents' opinions are weighed too much than what is taught at school. Parents will take responsibility for sharing their experiences with children unreservedly, there is always a good lesson from it and children will benefit throughout life.

in introduction mention both choices that are parents and schools but do NOT provide your opinion yet as this question is asking you to first discuss both sides and then give your opinion in conclusion.

Another thing, do not take words from question try to rephrase them use synonyms. Something like following.

Children of today are the leaders of tomorrow's society. So, it is essential that youngsters must to be taught properly to become contributing members of scociety. However, there is a disagreement that who should bear this responsibility, to many, parents are the best choice but some require schools to come forth.

@w_even: Okei, I completely agree with you. The question say that: "Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.", so we need to mention both these views and also need to show our point in conclusion. But, as you know, I give my respect to Paul's essay and don't change any thing at his writing. And I admit that I don't use English well, so I can make some mistake when I comment on other's writing. But I've done as well as I can and I check it as far as I know. So if I made any mistake, please forgive me and accept my apologize.

I personally believe that is not the sole responsibility of parents to teach children to be good members of the society. Theres an old saying that states it takes a whole village to raise a child. We have since moved away from that belief but I do believe it takes more than parents and teachers, neighbors, and random strangers can also play a role. As a parent myself I want to believe that if someone saw my child doing something wrong that could be potentially harmful that person would step up and tell my child it is wrong. But this is my opinion.