[IETLS Task2] Celebrities gain more benefits from their jobs, popularity, and human network

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.
Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

In today's highly competitive society, living as a public figure brings a number of benefits in comparison with being an ordinary person.
While there are many advocates of this, some people object to such a non-private lifestyle.

To begin with, it is obvious that famous people, such as movie stars, successful sportspeople, and popular singers, make a lot of money
with their jobs and their popularity could go all around the world. Considering the normal pay of ordinary people, they could earn 10 times
or possibly more. In addition to the money they win, they are likely to meet renowned professionals from different fields and probably work
in collaboration. In this way, they build up human network across various industries, and gain more money and popularity.

Nevertheless, there are certainly drawbacks to this flamboyant lifestyle. One of the most common problems they face is that they would not
have their personal life, They should not go out to meet their friends or go shopping or even eat at a restaurant since the public take out

cameras and photograph them, or ask for an autograph all the way. If they were caught making a minor mistake on the scene, they would

find themselves in close-up images with a defaming description on magazines, newspapers or most likely on the Internet nowadays.
They are much more exposed to people who they do not know than they might think they are.

In conclusion, although there are disadvantages of not having a private life as a celebrity, I believe celebrities gain more benefits from
their jobs, popularity, and human network. Just because they live in the public eye does not mean that they cannot continue to succeed.

many advocate / one advocates

I think you should use a dot at the place which I corrected you and you should give example to support for your idea above.

hope you helps

.... the latter part does not have much connection with the first part.


... this again is not a very logical sentence. You simply cannot compare earnings of celebrities with what of an average person.
You need to support your reasons with specific examples. So, give a candid example to show how a celebrity makes lots of money. Take a person like Marilyn Monroe who was a poor girl before she became famous actress.