'Imperfection is beauty' - If there has been some obstacle or bump in the road

just the intro...

Imperfection is beauty- says Marilyn Monroe. Why is she right? Life isn't perfect, and life is beautiful. Imperfections, or bumps in the road are mere fragments that are there for a reason. As I have grown from being a naïve little girl who plays with Barbie dolls, to seeing the deepest darkest of pains, I have continued to smile, and walk on with my posture astute. This is what separates me. While some may sit here and let tears fall from their eyes, upset over obstacles or bumps they have faced, I sit bravely and vulnerable to let it be known that I am different. I know that I faced more pain in one year than most face in a lifetime.

Wow!! Wonderful piece of work.You enthuse me to read it even more,though I kept wondering what challenges have you leaped on one year that many have not even faced on their entire lifetime.Mind telling us more.It will not harm if you make it the comment of your own post. :)

Imperfections, or bumps in the road are mere fragments that are there for a reason.
(I crossed out part that does not make sense to me. The sentence is nice without that phrase, like a quick thrust of a sword.)

This is what separates me. ----- I think in this case another word is good, like "distinguishes" or "sets me apart."

...or you can write "separates me from XXXXXX." But I think you need to complete it... separates me from what.

Make this sort of thing parallel:
I sit bravely and vulnerably to let it be...
Do you know what I mean about "parallel?"
But I don't like this part at all, actually. It is too dramatic to give yourself this compliment when you have not even told the story yet. The words are fine, but they don't belong in the first paragraph.

I think you should keep writing, but plan on revising the introduction later. When you see how the whole essay turns out, come back and revise this intro so that it is perfect for the theme you developed in the essay.