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It is more important for the government to invest in projects that benefit the whole community


serena0704 1 / -  
Dec 11, 2023   #1
It is believed that the government should prioritize public services such as welfare program infrastructure improvements instead of increasing funding to museums and art galleries owing to the fact that it can merely bring trivial advantages. From my perspective, it would be better for a whole society when a large part of the national budget is allocated to social projects.

The first argument given to support my argument is that when the welfare program is allocated more money, the quality of life of citizens will be improved and thus contribute to the reduction of poverty and hunger. As a result, people don't have to commit a crime to live. This will also lead to a decrease in the crime rate as well. Thanks to a great financial aid to public services, Finland nowadays is ranked as one of the happiest countries in the world with an extremely low crime rate.

Another point behind my belief is that there would be many benefits if the authorities spend more money to support the improvement of infrastructure, such as the public hospitals or schools. For example, when the quality of facilities in hospitals can be fixed, people can be served with the best treatment, which will enhance people's health in the long term. In addition to that, top-notch infrastructure used in education can encourage students to concentrate on the lessons more and thereby help them to raise their interest in studying.

In conclusion, I totally agree that the government should invest in social services more than the money spent on art projects for several reasons that have been mentioned above.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Dec 17, 2023   #2
There are 2 problems with your prompt restatement and writer's opinion that will result in a failing task accuracy score. As far as the original topic is represented in the said paragraph, the examiner will see that you added some personal opinions or reasons for one of the discussion considerations. That is a demerit in this case because it creates an inaccurate restatement of the problem. Second, the expected response from you is a measured response. A degree by which you disagree with the given opinion. The response you provided is not in the measured response format. Therefore, your essay will start with a failing preliminary score. A passing score for the paragraph cannot be provided due to the inaccuracies you have provided in the section.

While your reasoning paragraphs are good, you only provided your extent response in the last paragraph. You cannot receive a passing score for that paragraph because it no longer fulfills the summary requirement of the presentation. By presenting your opinion there, you created an open ended essay, which will result in an overall failing score.


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