Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living.
Many things, which people need and want, require be bought or obtained by use money, there is no denying the important of money. Without it, it's difficult to live a comfortable life. However, I think earning a comfortable living is more important than making large amounts of money. The followings, which are more important than making money, to support my opinion:
First of all, I believe that relationship is more important than making money because family can't be bought by money. For example, many people lack communication with their children because of long time working, it's easy to break the relationship between parents and children which is difficult to build again. However, people spend more time to get along with their family members and friends, this can provide happiness and comfortable to their, not only material enjoyment.
Another importance is health. Health can't be bought as same as family, health require human have good lifestyle and customs, such as always work out and eat enough green. However, if you make large amounts of money, but you lose your health, everything will be meaningless. Therefore, I think people should spend more time to keep their health, not only care for making money.
Finally, I think third importance is relaxation. We should enjoy our life, such as travel. Don't make too much stress for making money. In many cases, people stress over in their working, it's easy to have mood disorders. Therefore, I think people should relax, not just only care about working.
As you can see, there are important things should be cared. At the same time, over working bring disadvantage to us. Therefore, I think earning a comfortable living is more important than making large amounts of money.
Many things, which people need and want, require to be bought or obtained by use money, there is no denying the
importantimportance of money.
....This has several issues and most importantly grammar. Its presentation too has a problem too - sounds unnecessarily complicated :(There is no denying about the importance of money which is a must need for people to fulfill their requirements.
The followings, which are more important than making money, to support my opinion:
.... You need to re-phrase this line. What is your opinion on this argument? State it direct and clear;However, I believe that earning a comfortable living should be a priority over earning large sums of money.
family bonds can't be bought by money
because of long time working,
....because of excessive working hours.
this can provide happiness and
comfortablecomfort to their , not only material enjoyment.