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It is important that universities take a serious look at the sport facilities investment


Behroozz 1 / 1  
Apr 9, 2011   #1
Although investment in library facilities are absolutely vital for universities , I disagree with any discrimination against spending money for Sport activities because it bring about healthy Life Style for students , it boost their morality of cooperation and it is necessary essentials for international students who live in Dorm .

We now have evidences to support the claim that regular exercise cause increment in depression and Anxiety that is common reasons of academic failures inasmuch as intellectual mind usually come across in healthy body and sport activities could invoke elevated level of passion and enthusiasm in learning, universities must invest to modernize their exercise facilities.

Universities are responsible to prepare students for not only passing definite courses but also attending in society and their future workhouse ,group activities such as basketball, baseball, make a strong commitment between students and their teams and enhance their morality of cooperation and teamwork.

In addition, many international students naturally need up-to-date sport's equipments , especially those who live in dorm because they spend large amount of their time inside the university.

Before everything Student should be healthy, energetic and have morality of cooperation for these reasons, it is important that universities take a serious look at the sport facilities investment.

KathyLala 20 / 116  
Apr 9, 2011   #2
Your writing has some capital errors and many syntax. So I suggest you should write simple English, complete one idea in one sentence. The writing is confused with mixing idea. Here are some ideas that I could fix, other sentences are so complicated and hard to understand.

I disagree with opposing in spending money for sport activities because they bring healthy life style for students, boost their morality of cooperation, and essentialize for international students, especially who live in dorm.

We now have evidences to support the claim that regular exercises decrease depression and anxiety that are common reasons of academic failures. (Your sentence is quite long, so I just break it in small part)

inasmuch as intellectual mind usually come across in healthy body and sport activities could invoke elevated level of passion and enthusiasm in learning, universities must invest to modernize their exercise facilities. (This part is so completed, I really get a little idea)
OP Behroozz 1 / 1  
Apr 9, 2011   #3
thank you very much Kathy
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Apr 11, 2011   #4
Although investment in library facilities is absolutely vital for universities, I disagree with any discrimination against spending money for sport activities because they bring about healthy lifestyle for students, it boost their cooperation, and it is essential for international students who live in the dorm.-----In this sentence, I made a lot of changes. facilities...---> are

spend money on sport activities because they...
Also, you capitalized some words that were not supposed to be capitalized.

Use these words: responsible for XXXXing...
Universities are responsible for preparing students ...

Here again you capitalized unnecessarily:
Before everything Student students should be ...

Do you have any questions about these changes? Study them, and you can improve your grammar! :-)


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