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It's more important to work at a job you enjoy , even if the salary is low.


Michele9 5 / 12 3  
Jul 20, 2015   #1
TOPIC: It's more important to work at a job you enjoy , even if the salary is low, than it is to have a high-paying job that you do not enjoy.

We all dream, when we become adults, to obtain the job we have always desired and that would be also rewarding with a high salary. However most of the times this dream does not come true. Life is complicated and we may end up having the job we wanted but not well paid or, on the other hand, working on something that we do not enjoy at all but that allows to lead a high standard of living. In my view it is better having a job you love but with a low salary rather than being well paid but for something you will be likely to hate.

To begin with, I think that the key for the happiness is doing what you love in life or, in other words, following you passions. In fact the job covers most of the day and most of the life. Therefore, by the end of the month, when you receive a remarkable salary, you have already spent a month in a place that probably you do not like, dealing with tasks you consider uninteresting and boring. Moreover, even though at the end of your career you gather a considerable amount of money, you will be too old and tired to enjoy your money. And this is not a life that it is worthy living.

In addition, there is a song of John Lennon which recites "life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans". I always keep in mind this quote and I think that it perfectly fits this topic. In fact if you do what you like to do, you choose to live your life as you planned it to be. Whereas if you pick a job with a high wage but you do not feel it to be properly yours, well you are going to live someone else life. I can say this based on my personal experience. In fact last year I was hired by a company for an internship. I did not like the job and I think that on account of this reason I was not that good at doing it. I felt like what I was working on did not belong to me. Although I earned some money, I was frustrated and with no sense of achievement. After the end of the internship I refused to keep on working in that company because I did not want my life to take the direction.

In conclusion I deem that between having a well-paid job you do not like and a not-paid job you like, it is better the first one because life is too important to be busy doing things you do not enjoy.

ChristineB - / 108 55  
Jul 20, 2015   #2
Hi, Michele. I'm going to help you with parts of your essay:
_______________________________________

We all dream, when we become adults, to obtain the job we have always desired and that would be also rewarding with a high salary.

We all dream , when we become adults, toof eventually obtainingthea rewarding job that we have always desired and that would be also rewarding with a high salary.

However most of the times this dream does not come true.

However mostMost of the timestime, this dream does not come true, however .

Life is complicated and we may end up having the job we wanted but not well paid or, on the other hand, working on something that we do not enjoy at all but that allows to lead a high standard of living.

Life is complicated;and we may end up having the job we wanted, but not the high salary we desired.well paid or, on the other hand,Others end up working on somethingat a job that wethey do not enjoy at all, but that allows to leads to a high standard of living.

In my view it is better having a job you love but with a low salary rather than being well paid but for something you will be likely to hate.

In my view, it is better to havehaving a job you love but with a low salary rather than a high-paying jobbeing well paid but for somethingdoing something you do not enjoyyou will be likely to hate .

I'll stop there. I hope this has helped you a little :)
Muza 1 / 1 1  
Jul 20, 2015   #3
Well i put myself 6.0 score, and i will do explain why. Overall your essay is pretty good and expresses fully your ideas; it is clear to catch your way of thinking, and it is important to note that the statements your mentioned are base on your own experience, which enhances your score. To be honest i am not quite fond of your introduction, it seems to common and lacks some strong academic words ( as some parts do). In addition, looking through many essays i've never witnessed intro part startign with "We" :( Moving next, " uninteresting" and "boring" in some way are synonims don't you think? in the sentence "In fact the job covers most of the day and most of the life." it is better to say that it does occupy a large part of our lives.

"to live someone else life" should be to live someone's live. There are some repeations of starting phrases like "in fact". Actually i brefly read your essay and these are notes i noticed (pardon me it the first time i check someone's essay), but your essay undoubtedly deserves 6.0 and there is potential for further development. Good luck!!!
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jul 20, 2015   #4
I can help you to make some changes that will help you to improve your essay. First, you should state that," we may have a job we desired, but that does not pay well. Therefore, we may have a job we do not enjoy at all,..."

The next sentence also needs a revision: "In my opinion, it is better having a job you love but with a low salary, rather than being well paid for a job you will hate."

In the next paragraph, it is more common to say, "key to happiness". When you use transition words, you forget to use commas. Ex: In fact, Whereas, Although, In conclusion. Do you mean a job consumes most of your time and life? Place an exclamation point at the end of the paragraph.

Very good explanation of that quote! Change else to else's. Place a comma after reason, when you discuss how you did not like your internship.

The next sentence change the end of the sentence to: "have no sense of achievement." Place a comma after "internship". Do you mean you didn't want you life to be headed in the wrong direction or the direction you wouldn't choose for yourself?

When you state it is better the first one, this needs to be explained. Would you like to replace it with" to have a well paid job".
Dieu Anh 3 / 7 1  
Jul 20, 2015   #5
Hi Michele9,
In general, your essay is good but you should expand more in the 2nd paragraph such as giving a specific example for benefit of following passion when people find a job like you do in the 3rd one.

In the conclusion, you ought to write one or two more sentences as when I read it I feel you finish it hastily.
These are my suggestions and I hope it help.
OP Michele9 5 / 12 3  
Jul 21, 2015   #6
Thank you everybody for your feedbacks!
mina_banoo 1 / 1  
Jul 21, 2015   #7
i think you must use fit to instead of fit.


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