Imprisonment trend among five different countries - bar graph

please! help me ^^

Some interesting facts concerning the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980 are revealed in the bar graph.
In general, Unite States and Canada had the higher prisoners than others. In1930, with over 120000 prisoners, although Canada had the highest of the number of prisoners, this figure was significantly decreased until 1980. In contract, the number of imprisonment in United State was smaller than Canada in 1930, but it had some fluctuation, and then became the highest number in 1980 by nearly 140000 prisoners. Following is Great Britain, they just had about 30000 prisoners in 1930 that is the at least number, and then they had the dramatic breakthrough from 1940 to 1980 with over 85000 prisoners. Australia and New Zealand fluctuate slightly between 1930 and 1980. The number of imprisonment in Australia showed an upward trend, whereas the number of imprisonment in New Zealand had a downward trend.

In conclusion, after a general looking this bar graph, we can see that United States , Great Britain and Australia was an increased the number of imprisonment, that mean the criminal in this countries tend to gain. In contract, others countries like Canada and New Zealand tend to significantly decrease.

• 
  10488838_46255264722.jpg
  

First of all, I suggest you to read IELTS band descriptor for writing task 1. You can find it in google and read as much as you can sample answer to gain a pattern which is appropriate in writing task 1.

Here, I wanna share a pattern which is usually used for this task.
1. Introduction; paraphrase the prompt
2. Overview; mention the trend
3. Body paragraph 1; Detail information, you can mention the sameness
4. Body paragraph 2; Detail information, here you can explain the differences.

If you have read the band descriptor foe writing task 1, there is no conclusion. However, Overview is must be written. Other attention must be paid in language of change and language of contrast. If you get a chart which has a time duration you should use language of change (a significant decline) and language of contrast (the largest proportion of population is ...)


was a significant decrease

Thanks. I'll read it

This is not a good introduction of the image :( I think you need to pay serious attention to the approach you follow for this task. This is what I suggest;

Introduction - Introduce the graphs or the image
Overview - Write the main trends or observations very briefly to make an overall impression of the image presentation. You should not have any detailed data or statistics here.

Detailed paras - Now discuss the trends or the image with more details

you don't need to write a conclusion for task 1. What you need is to present an overview written after the introduction in a different paragraph.


the/ a number of is followed by plural noun
the amount of is followed by uncountable noun


the figures of both Australia and New Zealand fluctuate slightly between 1930 and 1980