It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become good sports person or musician.
Discuss the two ideas giving your opinion.
Talented or untalented?
It is true to argue that many a person has outstanding inborn talents for music, art or sport. However, I myself believe that other untalented children can be trained to achieve marvelous results in these fields.
On the one hand, that every child being taught to acquire important skills and to be good in certain fields is illustrated in our current education system. It is evident that many a child with no God-given talents has achieved unprecedented successes due to guided practices and hard training periods in their schools or institutions.
On the other hand, there are some reasons for people to believe the inborn talented children to be the predominant sports people, artist or musician. Accordingly, the skills and techniques acquired from trainings can never be a determinant to one's success. Instead, only children with certain talents since they were born can produce work of outstanding quality and hence, are likely to achieve their ambitions and become great people in the fields they work. Another reason is that inborn talents cannot be taught or acquired through schooling and guided practices, no matter how hard the untalented try.
I myself believe that sport and musical talents run in the family, and children with inborn talents are more likely to stand out of the crowds, easily acquire techniques and achieve tremendous successes. However, these children are also likely to be dependent on what they are inherited and hardly try their best. Whereas, other untalented children always have their ambitions and try much harder to achieve what they long for. Still, without the talents, continuous training would be counterproductive.
In conclusion, I agree that every child can be raised and taught to be good in sports or music, yet to be the best in these fields, inborn talents might be required.
I really appreciate your comments on what my essay lacks in and what I can do to improve. Many thanks!Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Mu, even though you wrote 301 words in this essay, I can see certain points where you struggled with your writing and did not have enough to say to create a coherent, cohesive, and well developed paragraph. This is highly evident in paragraphs one and two. Let's break this problem down per paragraph.
In the first paragraph, you did not properly paraphrase the prompt. You forgot that this is not a direct question essay but a comparison essay so the discussion does not start until the second paragraph. These paragraphs should have read as :
When it comes to talent in athletics and the arts, it is believed that certain people are born with skills to succeed in these fields. While there are those who become good and perform well in these areas through training and education. In this essay, I will assess both points of view and offer my own comment regarding these two beliefs.
There are children who are admittedly born with a natural talent and skills for certain activities such as sports and music. These natural talents do not have to work hard in these areas because they perform well even without formal training or long hours of practice. This is because they are believed to have been born with the skill naturally occurring within the child. Sometimes, this is attributed to the child taking after the specific skill of one parent either in sports or arts. While others just manifest the talent even without parental influence. Inexplicable as it is, these children are just born this way while others are not.
On the other hand, there are children who have a keen interest in sports and arts who do not have the natural talent but can be honed in the field through education and practice...
I believe that...
Never say "I myself" as that is a redundancy. I is a first person reference to yourself, which is the same indication for the word "myself." that is a GRA error.
You will have a problem with your TA scoring because in the end you indicated "I agree that", when you were not being asked to "agree or disagree" in the original prompt. That is a prompt deviation. Your summary should have merely repeated the discussion without giving an opinion. This essay did not need it so there was no need to give one. You totally forgot how to properly write a concluding summary in this instance. You ended up with a prompt deviation in the end.
