Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS task 2: Inclusion of Competitive sports in the school curriculum.



Shumaila86 11 / 31  
Jun 12, 2013   #1
Some people believe that competitive sports, both team or individual, have no place in the school curriculum, How far do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, students are taking particular interest in extracurricular activities and competitive sports either in a team like football, team hockey and cricket, or individually like swimming, running and gymnastics. However, some people argue that competitive sports should not be included in the school curriculum. I disagree with this notion, and explain the advantages of sports in the school in further paragraphs.

First, team sports help teenagers develop a healthy competitive attitude in every field of life because they take every task seriously and try to win. For example, they learn to thrive for success and practice till perfection in sports; therefore, they follow the same rule during class projects, too. In the same way, their team spirit and sportsmanship help them learn about solid work ethic and determination. It also guides them to hone their personal and physical fitness, and create optimism in their thoughts and behaviour as they compete with their fellow competitors and classmates.

Similarly, while practicing for sports, students keep their health fit and body in shape, and in order to keep themselves fit and suitable for sports they exercise, meditate and eat healthy diet. For example, they make a schedule for routine work and adjust their time equally for studies, exercise and practice. Therefore, their routine life becomes organized and well planned.

Finally yet importantly, sports are meant for teenagers to deal with their aggressiveness, anger, disappointment and other emotions without damaging their personality, and also encourage them to set their goals in life and achieve them with efforts and determination.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jun 12, 2013   #2
I disagree with this notion, and explain the advantages of sports in the school in further paragraphs.

I disagree with this argument and wish to discuss the advantages of inclusion of sports in the school curriculum.
You haven't provided a specific example for the first body para. Also you haven't ended the essay with a conclusion.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Inclusion of Competitive sports in the school curriculum.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳