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This is an inclusive world, human being isn't the only blessed species, there are still other animal


Maura_z 1 / 2  
Aug 20, 2016   #1
This is an inclusive world, human being isn't the only blessed species, there are still other animals and plants blessed by the sun and moon, and all of us compose the wonderful world. Putting limits on the amount of consumer-generated waste of towns and cities, not only could solve environmental problems, but also enable people treasure the self-giving nature world.

The limits on the amount of waste food could force people to develop a habit for treasure food and prepare appropriate amount food to avoid wasting food. Such habit results in 3 advantages: 1. Avoiding unnecessary food wasting, and then the saved food could distribute to some food-scarce areas; 2, making human being cherish more hard-won food; 3, decreasing the area of planting grain and increasing the area of trees, then slow down the greenhouse effect.

The limits on the amount of using plastic, battery, nuclear and so on, are helpful to protect the environment. As the need of those stuff decreasing, the corresponding manufactory will reduce the amount of output, and then reduce pollution in the production process accordingly.

Such advantages are massive, needless to say the benefit of lessening the amount of automobile usage, air conditioner usage, electricity and so on.
As above mentioned, limiting the amount of consumer-generated waste is seems to a flawless claim, but to be frankly, it is difficult to carry on, cause it threatens some company's interest and redundancies may be happened due to the decrease the output of the company.

In the long run, this claim indeed protects the environment.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Aug 21, 2016   #2
Hi Maura, welcome to EssayForum :)

Honestly, I have no idea about what is the purpose of your writing because there is no prompt given to check whether your writing has already answered the prompt or not. Therefore, I would like to focus on checking your grammatical flaws and giving an alternative corrections if possible. You can see them in the detailed descriptions below.

1st paragraph:
- This is an inclusive world. (Period. New sentence) Human beingsisn'tare not the only blessed species because there are still other animals and plants that are blessed by the sun and moon.(period. new sentence), andAll of us compose the wonderful world. (I have no idea why did you use "compose". the appropriate collocation for the word "world" are "create/make/destroy".)

Apart from the feedback for the first paragraph, I can notice that your paragraphing is quite confusing. This is dangerous to the coherence and cohesion of the essay itself. Pressing enter to create a new line after a period indicates that you didn't paragraph well. There is no paragraph that consists only 1 sentence. A good and strong paragraph should consists at least 3 sentences. This is because three sentences are usually consists of "topic sentence, explanation of the topic sentence, and some examples".

That's it Maura, I hope the above-mentioned feedback would be helpful towards your future writing practice :) Good luck
ashelarisa48 36 / 52 4  
Aug 21, 2016   #3
Hi Maura! Nice to see you, I am gonna try to give some feedback.

... creatures like animals and plants that are blessed by the sun and the moon, and all of us compose live together in the wonderful world.

1. Avoiding unnecessary food wasting, and then the saved food could ...

3. ... increasing the area of trees, then slow down reducing the greenhouse effect.

The limits on the amount restriction of using plastic... (You can use restriction or reduction to change 'the limits on the amount' to avoid the repetition word in every paragraph ).

Hope it helps.


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