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The increase of population causes humanity problem



tiraatira11 21 / 8  
Mar 29, 2016   #1
The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?


A few years ago, the government especially the developing countries government has already set a social program for birth control which its purpose is to suggest their citizens to have children in small numbers for preventing the increase of population. These days, the most concern issue of humanity in the world is the incline of population. The lack of education and some conventional tradition in rural areas has become triggers to this problem. I totally agree that this case gives influence on lack of food and water supply of human's needs and poverty which affect humanity.

In particular some outskirt areas in developing country which usually has the biggest number of population have unfair spread of information with cities. These things occur the communities of villages do not know about how essential the government program regarding to child's number. In addition, they also do not know about the impact of mass population which will affect them in the future. Furthermore, there is also an old believe that they believe which if they have many children, they will get many luck. This perception has already established since ancient time, which sometimes it makes social program of the government becoming hard to be happened.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that the continue increase of global inhabitants can brings many drawbacks to the humanity. For example, this case creates the rapidly demand of human basic needs, especially food and water which based on some search that in 2050 the agricultural land just can support about half of population needs in the world. This affects not only to human's health but also in the incline number of global poverty.

To sum up, the cause of this issue can be handled if the government gives education and knowledge properly to its citizens especially its villagers.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Mar 29, 2016   #2
Hi Siti, I would like to share some insights on your essay and hopefully modify it for the better towards creating the revised version.

1st paragraph
- the government, especially those from the developing countries,
- government has already
- which itswith the purpose
- is to suggest to their citizens
- forto preventing the
- concerning issue of humanity
- in the world is the inclineinclination of population. - has become triggers totriggered this is
- gives( influence - denotes an act of giving or sharing )
- influenced
- onby lack of
- ofthat human's needs
- and poverty whichthis factors contribute to the poverty that
- affects humanity.

- In particular,
- some outskirts areas
- in developing country whichcountries usually
- have unfair spread of information with cities.( I'm not sure what you mean by this phrase )
- These things occur thein communities of

Siti, I must say, there is still a lot of work to be done in your essay, this is very evident in the corrections I made above. I hope you follow through and do a little bit more revision on the succeeding paragraphs.
fardan10 18 / 24  
Apr 5, 2016   #3
Please check your conclusion below:

To sum up, the cause of this issue can be handled if the government gives education and knowledge properly to its citizens especially its villagers.

(it is important to present your conclusion in proper way, first restate the question and give your opinion or your suggestion)

MY Suggestion:
In conclusion, global issue such as lack of food and water supply are being faced by global citizens due to the rise of world population in some parts of the world which is caused by conventional tradition. I would argue that increasing the number of polulation can be a greatest cause of global problem in these days.


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