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Increasing average weight of people has become a matter of great concern nowadays

thutrang99nt 1 / -  
Apr 16, 2018   #1

Health and fitness

In this day and age, increasing average weight of people has become a matter of great concern, while the decrease in levels of health and fitness is especially noticeable. Although there are undoubtedly some problems of this trend, measures can be taken to mitigate these potential consequences.

An overweight condition can be attributed to two main reasons: unhealthy lifestyle and the lack of exercise. Firstly, this matter results from the habits of people who are leading a sedentary lifestyle in which people do little or even do not exercise. For example, officers who do 9-to-5 jobs are usually reluctant to do a workout or go to the gym after exhausting working hours at the company. They, therefore, are likely to have to deal with some health problems like obesity or cardiovascular diseases.Secondly, a state of stress and depression which makes people consume so many foods to reduce tension also result in gaining weight. However, if they do not have something to eat, they would probably feel stressed out again.

Consequently, various steps could be implemented for government and individuals to address these problems. The government should invest more in building pedestrian zones and bicycle and cut down on the number of lanes for private cars. In this way, people are encouraged to walk and cycle more, which makes them become healthier and lose weight. This is exemplified that people who walk on a daily basis are supposed to be in a better condition than those who do not do exercises. Referring to individuals, they should follow a balanced diet including more vegetable and less meat instead of eating lots of high-fat, high-calorie comfort foods but not have physical activities.

In conclusion, health and fitness are of paramount importance and it is essential for you to keep a healthy lifestyle.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,132 3268  
Apr 17, 2018   #2
Jamye, the weakness of your essay lies first, in your overview presentation. Your paragraph restatement contains a run on sentence. Please remember that two separate idea topics must be presented as two separate sentences in order to qualify as part of the GRA consideration for your essay. Using long sentences and commas to separate the ideas does not work to your benefit in this instance. There is also a problem with the under development of your essay presentation. You need to present a completely developed 5 paragraph essay in order to gain maximum scoring in all considerations. With only 3 sentences, your essay will be deemed little developed and thus, will receive low scores in all scoring considerations. It is always in your best scoring interest to present a 5 paragraph discussion composed of 3-5 sentences. Now, since you did not provide me with the original prompt for discussion, I will refrain from commenting on the actual discussion you presented. That is something I can only assess if you give me the original prompt to compare your discussion to. For now, the general observations of the mistakes in your essay presentation will suffice.

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