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Causes for increasing average weight of people; 'unwholesome fast food'


eva19950927 2 / 2  
Dec 18, 2012   #1
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?


In recent years, the soaring general weight of citizens as well as their plummeting standards of physical condition and well-being in some countries has become a thorny issue. People have been attaching greater weight to this problem. In this essay, I aim to explore this complicated phenomenon from diverse perspectives, identify the relevant contributing factors and bring up some effective solutions.

To my mind, an array of integrated factors contribute to this complex incident, and here I would explore only a few of the most important ones. To begin with, it is an inevitable fact that the quickening tempo of modern lifestyle is responsible for the increasing average weight of people. As the matter of fact, the preference of takeaway fast food has become increasingly prevalent for the sake of convenience. The overcooked and unwholesome fast food is high in fat and salt, which is consequently causing people to gain weight and develop an unbalanced eating habit and diet. Moreover, people begin to neglect the importance of having enough exercise owing to the increasing workload. Conceivably, all the predictable health symptoms are then emerged, such as obesity and severe heart disease. Therefore, it is surely unquestionable that the increasing average weight and decreasing health standards of citizens can be attributed to the fast pace of the society.

Confronted with such a pressing issue, people come up with a variety of constructive countermeasures. Personally, the following are worth mentioning. Firstly, public activities such as anti-fast food and "Sport for all day" campaigns should be sponsored by the government to promote the public awareness of the health issues raised by eating too much fast food, make sure that everyone is a conscious preserver. Secondly, schools should also be contributing to solving the problem. It is of paramount importance that schools are taking the responsibilities to educate the youngsters or adolescences the significance of eating less fast food and to maintain splendid physical conditions. Last of all, individuals should as well carefully monitor their own health conditions, enable themselves to be the real masters of their bodies.

It is high time that both the government and original citizens should make concerted efforts to solve the problem of decreasing health levels of people. When everyone is fully aware of the severity and takes feasible measures, a blissful globe can be conducted.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 18, 2012   #2
general weight

It should be average weight

In recent years, the soaring general weight of citizens as well as theirplummeting standards of physical condition and well-being in some countries has become a thorny issue.

.... This sentence sounds a bit messy and your idea does not flow nicely. I wish you had said it in a simpler and interesting way

People have been attaching greater weight to this problem.

People have shown a greater concern over this issue.

To my mind, an array of integrated factors contribute to this complex incident,

Overweight is not an incident, it is a problem/ issue/ concern

I think you need to pay attention to clarity of your sentences. It is not wise to use very complicated vocabulary at places where they are not so appropriate. You should be cautious about this matter.


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