Unanswered [0] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own country


sappi 1 / 1  
May 7, 2019   #1
An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.

What are the problems associated with and some possible solutions?

Please give me feedback.

Exodus of doctors and other specialists



Professionals such as doctors and teachers from undeveloped countries are migrating to work in more developed countries. Due to this, poorer nations will struggle to develop, which will negatively affect the economy of the country. To tackle the issue, their government should offer better working conditions to them.

The foremost problem faced by poorer nations due brain drain, in the fields such as medical science and education, is that they will struggle to develop and find difficult to boost the economy of the nation. The host country invested a lot of money on the education of these professionals, but they do not back anything in return and migrate to rich countries when their turn comes. As a consequence, these nations face the crisis of the economy, and remain undeveloped with respect to education and medicines.

In order to address this problem, the government should encourage these professionals to stay there by offering them a better working conditions. This can be done by allocating additional budget towards these professions and increase their wages to a competent level because they deserve it for their hard work in these fields. For example, Canada, one of highest paying nations for doctors, to maintain the level of service, therefore, their doctors are not immigrating to any other country.

In conclusion, although developing nations face a variety of problems and one of them is deterioration in development due to migration of professionals, this problem is not insurmountable. In my view, it is the government responsibility to tackle that issue by offering a pleasurable working environment, they should begin by considering one of the proposed solutions above.

Maria [Contributor] - / 262 131  
May 7, 2019   #2
@sappi
Avoid redundant words. When you are writing within word counts, being precise is vital because it will determine how much you can optimize the space of your essay.

Restructure your sentences in a way that will help you develop your thoughts in a more straightforward manner.

Let's look at your first paragraph. I would revise the lines as:

Doctors, teachers, and other professionals from underdeveloped countries migrate to developed countries for work. This leads to economic degeneration in their home countries. [...]

Notice how I tried to strategically use terms (specifically in the second sentence) that would lead to this portion. Doing this will enhance your content immensely.

Moreover, I also recommend that you try to be more specific when you are curating content.

For instance, in the second paragraph's introductory lines:

The initial problem faced by these countries is brain drain in the sciences and educational sectors. This has led to economic struggles because of lack of technological development. [...]

Notice how I had followed through with what happened (brain drain) and how it happens (tech development is hampered). Having these small descriptions would help hammer down your content.

Remember these comments as you are writing. Best of luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own country