Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

In India, as in worldwide, the most famous organisation is 'Athithi Dev Bavo'


Sabby multani 2 / 3  
Feb 8, 2015   #1
Task-2

SOME PEOPLE HELP THEIR COMMUNITY AS AN INDIVIDUALLY WHILE OTHERS HELP THROUGH ORGANISATION. DISCUSS BOTH VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Community is a incredible way to give aiding to poor, unhealthy or many other who face many fundamental problems on earth. There are two mode to give aid to community like some people donate money, food or many more by individually while other as an organisation through. We will look at both sides before drawing a logical corollary.

Some people belief that if they aid to community by as an organisation then it is very beneficial for community donation because in organisation people do work or collect money from unity as an unity so it is obvious that if they collect as an group from door to door then they collect positively correlated with individually. For instance, In India, the most famous organisation as in worldwide is 'Athithi Dev Bavo' , which helps to many person or community. They provide food , shelter or good education as well as they provide a job opportunity to poor person , who are not able to get this thing in their lives. Thus they believe that aiding to community as an organisation is better.

On the contrary side, Some other people notion that if they donate something to community as an individually then ii is beneficial for community and donor. They think if they donate money in organisation then some time they do not utilise the money as an incredible way and sometime some group of people use the donation on other purpose. Moreover, it is also beneficial to earn a more popularity. For instance, the actors of any industry give a huge money to community to earn a more popularity even some rich person also do this thing. However, some rich people make a various hospital or school for community where unhealthy people can get many free facilities such as free treatment, free medicine as well as free operation facility. As an evidence, In Japan, there several individual people make a numerous hospital and school for giving a higher education or cure to community. Thus , they belief the giving a help by direct is creditable .

To sum up, although above look revels solid evidence for both sides argument , I strongly belief that if we pay as an independent then its positive correlated with organisation and the money utilities as in incredible mode unlike organisation.

mumtazdinar 12 / 15 12  
Feb 8, 2015   #2
Hi Sabby multani,

These are several suggestions for your writing:

Sabby multani:
a incredible

an incredible

Sabby multani:
There are two mode

There are two modes

Sabby multani:
Some people belief

Some people believe

Sabby multani:
Some other people

Other people
OP Sabby multani 2 / 3  
Feb 9, 2015   #3
Please tell me..
Can I use this line..
Crime is soaring day by day.
Opuntia - / 10 3  
Feb 9, 2015   #4
Crime is soaring day by day.

Yes, it can be used. Multiple of examples for exact phrase "Crime is soaring" and of course "day by day" - so why not to merge it? It makes perfect sense for me.


Home / Writing Feedback / In India, as in worldwide, the most famous organisation is 'Athithi Dev Bavo'