Films for fun or for education?
Movies have always been considered as advantageous tools causing special changes in the human life. While a number of people think that educational factors should be placed in every movie, others belive that the only purpose of watching films is to get amusement. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why movies should be used for educational purposes.
On the one hand, movies which include educational value are great sources for leaners since they enable them to understand information about almost every field of study without spending time at schools. Indeed, as students are becoming more tired of being at schools, this way of visual learning can allow them to look into the lives of different characters relating to academic knowledge. For example, some movies can give their audiences a wide knowledge of science such as the movie about the life of the great physicist, Albert Einstein, who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Furthermore, it can create interest in studying scientific subjects for students.
On the other hand, the positive effect of films on reducing stress for individuals is undeniable. In fact, after a busy day people are encouraged to watch entertaining films so that they can relax and enjoy their free time. For instance, adults have to face lots of occupational stress at their working place which results in some mental illness. Therefore, spending time to see comedy series like The Bigbang Theory will help them to deal with stress. However, movies are just not about entertaiment. It is true that all the films receiving attention from the audience have high educational value. A great film can be entertaining but it should do more than that if it is expected to be worth watching.
In conclusion, films should require perfect balance between education and entertaintment because people tend to prefer them as a way to learn and relax.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15384 Nope. This essay will automatically get a score of 1 in the TA section. Which means the essay will not get a passing score. There is no need for me to review any other mistakes in this essay because you already made a mistake in your prompt response and discussion. The actual prompt for this essay is:
Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer?
You totally changed the prompt topic and discussion format to:
This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why movies should be used for educational purposes.
You turned a pure personal opinion / choice essay into a comparative discussion. You did not respond to the question in the paraphrase, which, by the way, is also so far off base in the restatement of the discussion topic that the essay truly does not connect in any way to the original presentation. It is because of the completely unrelated task response that this essay cannot get even close to a 4 band score.
Intially, you actually didn't give us the complete topic and its requirement. When it comes" to the first paragraph, your thesis statement is not really good; I suppose that you need to express your own ideas more. The sentence " This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail" sounds quite weird to an essay; specifically, you shouldn't mention " the essay" in your essay.
- In the second paragraph, ideas are good. " at schools" should be replaced by " at school".
- In the third paragraph, In a serie of sentences " However, movies...worth watching", you need to clarify the idea that educational values should be added to film or like that because I realise that your idea is not so lucid and strong. Besides, " help them to deal with.." need to change into " help them deal...".
- Your conclusion is quite short; you need to make your conclusion at least include 2 sentences, which sounds better.
Hopefully, these remarks are beneficial to you.
dear @Holt
The full topic is "Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
So I think my introduction is not as bad as you said. Thank you for your resonse, Im gonna fix it right away.
Hi, your essay is totally fixed by the other above. Totally, the idea and the explanation is good. However, there are still some mistakes in your essay. Moreover, your conclusion is pretty short so I hope you could make progress in next time. Try hard!!
Your point is good but you should use more formal words.
Your essay is good but you should write more in the conclusion
In the second paragrah, you made a spelling errors "learners"
I think you should be careful to check if you have any mistakes