'where individuals often exist in their own bubbles' - Brown describe the community

Prompt:

We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and
purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has
shaped you. (1000 characters allowed, including spaces)

My response has 999 characters.

My response is below:

I come from a place called Planet Earth, where individuals often exist in their own bubbles, unaware of events occurring around them. My community's bubble encompasses our humble town, Half Moon Bay, where we lead fairly blissful lives unaffected by larger world issues. Because I've grown up in a secluded place, I've always craved to break free from the confinements of small-town life. Through community service, I've learned to extend my hand to others and break through the "bubbles" that define the lines between which I live. From distributing bag lunches to the homeless in San Francisco to bringing wheelchairs and prosthetic arms to the impoverished in Mazatlan, Mexico, I've had wonderful opportunities to help improve people's lives-it's the least I can do in return for the privileged life I've been given at home. Growing up in a closely-knit community has ingrained within me an appreciation for my own life as well as a desire to reach out and help others who are less fortunate.

I like how you start off : )
However, I am a little bit confused as to how bubbles are relevant
And probably, I think the essay will look more beautifully complete if you relate the "bubbles" concept to the conclusion. Use "bubbles" in the concluding sentence maybe? (if bubbles are what you are emphasizing)

And maybe, I think it would be good if you add a little bit more about how a "secluded place" is related to your person.

Overall, it is very good : D

I hope this helps

Please take a look at my essay, too
Thankss

Bubbles aren't really meant to be an emphasis, more of just a figure of speech to get my point across about how people often get wrapped up in their own lives and don't think of others and bigger issues going on in the world.

Thank you for your comments/suggestions though! (:

I also liked how you start off but in my opinion, Planet Earth feels more expension, might want to focus on small community if you are going to emphasizing "bubble"?

just my opinion^^ but great essay :)

You write beautifully.

May I suggest a few things.?


What about "I come from Planet Earth" or "I come from a place on Planet Earth" ? Since you're emphasizing the bubble, planet earth seems like a contradiction.



Just because "bubble" seems a little overused. :)



--> This is great! :)

You have a wonderful view of life.
Good Luck! :)