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Influence on children. Does it depends on sex of a parent? IELTS Task 2



synako 1 / -  
Feb 1, 2014   #1
Boys are most influenced by their fathers and girls are most influenced by their mothers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons to support your opinion.

Some people believe that influence on a child depends on sex of a parent. Women have more influence on their daughters and men have more influence on their sons. This essay will examine the opinion of this question and gives the reasons for it.

To my way of thinking, it is not actually true. To begin with, it depends on parents' characters. If child notices that one of his parents is better, it tries to become similar with him. For instance, if a boy sees that his mother is more responsible, clever and funnier than his father; he does not want to be as his father. In this situation a boy is much more influenced by his mother.

In addition, it depends on time one of parents spends with a child. If a girl does not see her mother regularly, she just cannot be influenced by her mother. When a parent spends a lot of time with its child, explaining its view of life, a child believes him and behaves as its parent. There are a lot of examples of it, when a woman brings up her son almost by herself, and as a result, a boy is really alike of her.

To sum up, influence on children is individual in each family. Some mothers love boys more than girls, and pretend to spend time with them. A mother can be rather better example of a good behavior, and a child tries to be alike as his mother. Situations are different - it is not a generous statement that a boy is most influenced by his father or a girl is most influenced by her mother.

indah_hai 19 / 38  
Feb 2, 2014   #2
Hi Sinako,

To my way of thinking,

,

To begin with,

I think this is not really good to begin the IELTS paragraph.

To give your opinion, usually, you can put it in the last sentence in body or conclusion paragraph.

father; he does

Usually, (;) is used for describe example. Maybe you it is (,)
Be careful of you repetition word such as influenced, etc

it depends

to what 'it' refers to? Be careful of reference using.

When a parent spends a lot of time with itshis child, explaining its view of life, a childis believed him and behaves as its parent + sentence

be careful of references, and please re-write your sentence.
For now, these are some corrections which you should give attention.
Good luck!


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