human activities have made wildlife vulnerable
It is claimed that the global environment has been severely encroached upon by human's interference, which results in a mass extinction of species and biodiversity loss. These damage can be attributed to several reasons and there are also some possible solutions for the issue.
The two main causes of species' declines are habitat destruction and over-exploitation of natural resources. Firstly, clear-cutting for timber, farming land or urban expansion has done irrevocable damage to natural habitat. For example, it is reported that more than fifty percent of an original forest was converted to agricultural land by slash-and-burn. Moreover, if natural resources are seriously depleted, they will be degraded and running out. Consequently, different kinds of animals and plants will go extinct without human's recognition.
However, many conservation approaches can be adapted to improve the situation. The authorities should bring out policies and laws to ban over-exploitation and poaching to prevent wild species from dying out. Another important way to protect the ecosystem is promoting people's environmental conscience by informing about the dangers and threats to human beings caused by biodiversity loss.
In conclusion, human activities have made wildlife vulnerable and brought about the loss of biodiversity. Instead of worries or ignorance, people can gradually solve these issues by conservation and responsible awareness for environment.
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You have presented an under developed essay discussion in reference to the discussion prompt. Having written only 213 out of the required minimum of 250 words indicates that you have not spent enough time developing your reasoning and solution discussion. Having read your full essay, the examiner will definitely judge the essay has not being full explained using appropriate reasons, examples, and other public information. An under developed essay, in terms of word count, will have a difficult time achieving the passing band score. You might achieve a passing band score with a complete 250 word presentation but not this one. The missing words will result in percentage deductions, with the errors in grammar and vocabulary forcing additional deductions.
You have some pretty good reasoning paragraphs. You just need to learn to develop these presentations completely within the 5 maximum sentence mark. Using 5 sentences normally results in a fully developed paragraph presentation and, allows the examiner to fully judge your writing skills based on the scoring criteria. As of now, your essay isn't doing well based on the scoring considerations.