IELTS Task 2 : THE INFLUENCE OF SOPHISTICATED MEDIA on people in a relationship

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on the personal relationship between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is generally assumed that utilizing of sophisticated media such as the net and mobile phone bring a detrimental effect on the personal interaction between individuals. In my view, although in several cases the use of electronic devices breaks a relationship, I strongly believe that it totally depends on the user. If advanced technology is used properly so it can make the relation being more harmony.

These ages, electronic gadget becomes an unavoidable belonging for virtually every single person. However, this equipment sometimes leads to a problem, especially debate between couple partner due to each of them busy on their personal device. Most of the couple tend to spend more time to focus on their own gadget and neglect their partner. As a result, they are a lack of a real personal communication.

Nevertheless, I extremely believe that to be part and parcel, technology devices do really aid a human in many ways, including establishing a perfect relationship. It is because sophisticated technologies like the net and smartphone are truly useful to make the distance being meaningless. To illustrate, a great number of people can keep in touch with their partner thanks to electronic devices. Moreover, the use of gadget also gives a great chance for entire individuals to perpetuate their every single moment in their togetherness by the phone camera and shared on their social media. Hence, they can remember the precious moment whenever they are.

To conclude, the advanced media can possibly trigger a dire effect on people in a relationship if it is used inappropriately. However, I extremely believe that electronic device makes the relationship between individuals if they utilize it wisely.

... especially debate between couple partner due to BECAUSE each of them ...

Hence, they can remember the precious moment whenever WHEREVER THEY ARE OR WHENEVER THEY WANT they are.

(Try to use hook in beginning of your sentence, so people will be more interest) It is generally assumed that utilizing of sophisticated media such as the net and mobile phone bring a detrimental effect on the personal interaction between individuals. In my view, although in several cases Most people claim that the use of electronic devices breaks a relationship, I strongly believe that it totally depends on the user. If advanced technology is used properly so it can make the relation being more harmony.

An alternative : The use of electronic media has a negative effect on the personal relationship between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern communication breakthroughs improve human relation. (This I mean as a hook) However, the idea of this bringing many considerable demerits is important by some people. As it can be seen, human today is bound to call their colleagues by using cellphone rather than directly meeting face to face, this gives rise to significant problems. While I argue with this view, I also claim that talking in person will get rid of the problems.